gay/lesbian

[The Dude]

Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A. A Megasoreass!

 

[Jasmine]

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Pearly Gate Saint
Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint
Peter decided to let him in. "Follow me." he said, opening
the gate and walking in.


After some walk, Saint Peter's keys accidentally fell on the
ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was
something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on
him and did his thing.


Saint Peter was furious. "If you do that again, you'll go
straight to hell! Follow me, we're almost there."


After some more Peter dropped his keys again, and again,
the gay man jumped on him. Saint Peter was even more
furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one
last chance.


Again they walk and for the third time Peter drops his keys,
so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no
self control jumps on him. Peter is now fed up and sends the
gay guy straight to hell.


A few weeks later, Saint Peter goes down to hell for his
routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, it
is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds
the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass
off.


"Why is it so god damn cold down here?" Peter asks.


The devil replied, "Well, ever since you sent that new guy
down here, I'm afraid to bend over and pick up the firewood!"

 

[Anonymous]

A Passport Bureau official says to a cowboy after reviewing his application:
- Your entry "twice a week" under "sex" simply wont do. It is supposed to mean "male or female, man or woman". Do you understand? Please correct this.
- O.K - say the cowboy, takes his application and adds "women".