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Gambling Stigma

Discussion in 'The Attic' started by RichyJ75, Jun 9, 2018.

    Jun 9, 2018
  1. RichyJ75

    RichyJ75 Silly Member PABnonaccred

    Occupation:
    Dogsbody and personal servant to my kids
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Ok, bit of a weird question, but does anyone else here feel uncomfortable talking about online gambling with their family or friends? It's fine in this kind of environment, but after a few wins not that long ago and explaining to my friends and family where the money has come from to buy a new car, paying off debts (incurred by buying a static caravan holiday home last year after a few other wins), laying the front garden with artificial grass, new decking on the caravan, etc, I was feeling uncomfortable talking about it even though I was in profit.

    It seemed that the automatic response was to focus on how much had been lost/wagered and that it was a subject not generally spoken about socially, much the same as if you had just seen a good porno film - you simply don't mention it to anyone! I also took the decision to take a break from online casino use so went through GamStop, but again the instant response by the majority of people was that any kind of SE means you have a serious gambling problem. Not the case, I simply wanted to walk away with the winnings and take a break without receiving all the spam e-mails or temptation to return. Self exclusion, take a break, deposit limits etc are tools for responsible gambling, so surely this is being responsible and doesn't warrant having a finger being pointed at you saying you have a problem? I know, someone without an addiction can walk away whenever, but if you enjoy what you play, then surely you want to return to that enjoyment?

    So, does anyone here treat it as a dirty little secret and only talk about gambling here?

    Also quite surprisingly, my wife has given her backing for me playing the £500 fruit machines down the club house at the holiday site. However, last week in the school holidays I did manage to pay off £1,050 against next year's site fees from fruit machine wins, so I think that persuaded her even though she doesn't like gambling. I think it also put her mind at rest knowing that I can walk away with a nice win and also when it appears the machines won't pay/play nicely!

    Mind you, typing this out has got me thinking. Should it be socially acceptable to talk about online gambling and should it be accepted by everyone? One side is that now I have confessed to family that I did gamble online, I would be more cautious about how much I play in future.
     
    lotusch, sapit222, mcgameboy and 3 others like this.
  2. Jun 9, 2018
  3. dionysus

    dionysus can turn wine into water CAG MM

    Occupation:
    n/a
    Location:
    I'm a Canucklehead
    nah, I talk about it openly - never thought it was some dirty little secret
     
    Mouche12 likes this.
  4. Jun 9, 2018
  5. RichyJ75

    RichyJ75 Silly Member PABnonaccred

    Occupation:
    Dogsbody and personal servant to my kids
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Must be my friends and family then! I think my wife and family automatically think gambling equals losing all the time and friends just see it as being anti social, so I just kept quiet about it. Work colleagues only knew about big wins when I turned up with cakes!
     
  6. Jun 9, 2018
  7. dionysus

    dionysus can turn wine into water CAG MM

    Occupation:
    n/a
    Location:
    I'm a Canucklehead
    well, i come from a family of gamblers so to them, it seemed rather par lol and my friends often see my wins on FB so are more intrigued than anything.
    Around here, there's pretty much a landbased in every reasonably sized city so gambling is fairly commonplace
     
    Mouche12 likes this.
  8. Jun 9, 2018
  9. goatwack

    goatwack Denny, two is great, but three is a crowd CAG

    Occupation:
    Stuntman
    Location:
    Londonia
    I believe everything possible on the subject has been covered more than adequately in this killer thread already :laugh:

    Laugh it up, Fuzzball
     
    nikantw and Mouche12 like this.
  10. Jun 9, 2018
  11. LadyJelena

    LadyJelena CM Account Manager Staff Member CAG MM

    Occupation:
    Account Manager @ Casinomeister
    Location:
    Serbia
    Gambling was always exciting for me and kinda sexy :D Always felt like a little rebel when I play (although not so often) who's in some supercool underworld :D
    My answer is no :) The only issue is that most of the people around me are not so familiar with it - the furthest they go (male) is local bookie to play tickets on some football/basketball matches. Bigger issue I have when I need to explain my job - first thought is usually that my duty is to make people gamble :p
     
    nikantw, Mouche12 and RichyJ75 like this.
  12. Jun 9, 2018
  13. goatwack

    goatwack Denny, two is great, but three is a crowd CAG

    Occupation:
    Stuntman
    Location:
    Londonia
    My partner knows about 'the gambling' so that's good. Only tell her when winning, which is bittersweet, because she might want some of that :mad:

    Mother: You must be kidding, as if I'd be that stupid lol

    Friends: Easy to disclose this secret to, mainly because I have none. But the imaginary ones (Tom & Tilly) are fine with it, by and large
     
  14. Jun 9, 2018
  15. adamtheaddict

    adamtheaddict Senior Member

    Occupation:
    fruits
    Location:
    Kent
    Can take too long for the realization to hit with some people and even if it eventually smacks them in the face, its not worth it... If say a person is winning. Im talking gambling generally though.

    For many, there is always an answer to your answer.

    Poker.
    Hey babe are you winning?
    Me. Yes.
    Do you win overall?
    Me. Yes.
    How much did you have to spend?
    Me. Look, here is 95 pages of small withdrawal amounts, and here is 2 pages of even smaller deposit amounts.
    But how much have you spent?
    Me. Those amounts right there, in those 2 pages.
    But how much did you Give back? You cant be lucky forever? *walks out*
    Me. Dafuq!? She asked. I showed. cant she read whats infront of her? Im going for a beer.

    One day walk past arcade with same (ex)gf who doesnt like gambling. Spanish, so doesnt know about the uk AWP machines.
    Me. *points at arcade* when walking past it. " i used to make decent money in there"
    Her. *blank long stare into eyeballs, with no response* face is so utterly motionless, suggesting its trying to hide the disgust and auto desire to criticise her sexy bf over this sin.
    Action, or lack of, definately spoke louder than any words could.

    (Did stop gambling for a few years when with her tbh)

    Father, . You still playing fruit machines?
    Me. Yeh.
    Do you win much?
    Me. Yeah.. not shit loads but yeah i make overall, for the past 15 years or so.
    Father. I bet You'll end up putting it all back eventually.

    Girl at college.
    Why are you looking at a poker site?
    Me. Im trying to get past the college security crap so i can play some, this lesson is boring as shit.
    Girl. Do you win?
    Me. Yep. For years now.
    Girl. But poker is a game of cards. It is luck, you cant make money/be lucky forever..
    Me. Its not all luck, youd be suprised. kinda lived off it for a few years tbh.
    Girl. How is it not luck? How can you live off it? You are playing with cards. Can you see what your opponent has? No!
    Me. Its quite a complex game, hard to explain, takes a long time to learn. But its not all luck.
    Girl. Sure. So wheres all the money you made now then?
    Me. Rage.

    I dont mention online gambling like slots, only to those few friends or family who already know ive gambled since i was a kid, and know ive done ok overall and that it is not in total control of my life nor ruining my finances. And even then i didnt mention it for quite a while.
    Too many people are unfortunately too quick to judge imo. And tbf, ive seen some roulette players who live for nothing but the wheel, and i was guilty while around them of the odd cringe, while also having pity and i suppose judging them for something i didnt like.


    In short. Avoid such conversations at all times when absolutely possible. Weigh up the odds like a gambler; there is likely *nothing of actual worth to gain, **but a quite a high chance there is something to lose. None of us like losing ;)

    *unless you are married and honesty is a part of maintaining that relationship.
    **especially if you are married and your other half is disgusted by all forms of gambling.
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2018
    lotusch, LadyJelena, dunover and 6 others like this.
  16. Jun 9, 2018
  17. Takkaone

    Takkaone Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    logistics (strangely has VERY little to do with "l
    Location:
    somewhere surrounded by incompetence (geographic l
    Classic answer - it depends... ;-)

    Few examples on how persons around me and their view on gamlbing differs:

    - My mom... Gambling is evil / the bank always wins... Thats her take on gambling since like 30 years ago, when the sunday father-son-biketour only was an "excuse" for my dad and me to go somewhere, him drinking his beer and putting a few 5ers (Deutsche Mark - lol) into the slot to keep me occupied while i was sipping my coke (which was evil for a child, too - obv).... Oh, how much i enjoy thinking of those sundays - and my dad....

    - My brother... Me: "Hey, what about me inviting you and your girlfriend for a nice dinner or something this weekend? Just won 5k on the slots, gotta share the loot!" His answer: "But how much did you lose?" Me:"Lose? I won 5k...." Brother:"Yeah, but how much did you lose?"

    - My "Boss" (the guy one tier higher oin the foodchain) when we somehow got to the topic of gambling: "Nope, had my fair share of problems back in the days... And my wife made me swear to quit two things when we got our first child - gambling & the - lets call it - more physical approach at watching football"

    -- My coworker who gave me a ride home after late-shift few hours ago (dont know how the topic came up) -> i had to send him a few links when he dropped me off at my place -> casinomeister, neteller, videoslots... that poor guy until now had only one casino-account (bwin) and did sound like he was spending a bunch more there, than his wife knows... LOL

    - The financial advisor from my bank - who actually wanted to sell me some shitty investments: "Those kind of transactions there on your account - you know that gambling is illegal & you have to pay taxes on that money, too?" Me:"Have to think about those offers you had there - probably will give you a call later this week... Oh, and thank you for the coffee..."


    Thats the whole range of reactions i did receive when people around me somehow got to know about my gambling-habbit / hobby... Well, there is one more reaction (by far the most common one): "Sounds boring... But hey, whatever floats your boat..."
     
  18. Jun 9, 2018
  19. RichyJ75

    RichyJ75 Silly Member PABnonaccred

    Occupation:
    Dogsbody and personal servant to my kids
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Ha ha ha, loving the replies, cheers guys.

    One thing which baffled me recently was that my missus got upset at me for losing £20 in the arcades - errrr, hello, these arcades just helped us pay £1,050 towards next year's site fees! Started the week with £150 cash in wallet, finished the week with £1,050 put aside, £60 still in wallet and we fed/watered ourselves all week with ice creams and arcades chucked in as well. But she still moaned at me for losing £20 on that occasion! Ok, obviously this is why I tend not to talk to her over gambling!!
     
    Borgie, Mouche12 and goatwack like this.
  20. Jun 9, 2018
  21. goatwack

    goatwack Denny, two is great, but three is a crowd CAG

    Occupation:
    Stuntman
    Location:
    Londonia
    There's no accounting for women logic. Just accept it and move on :p
     
  22. Jun 9, 2018
  23. RichyJ75

    RichyJ75 Silly Member PABnonaccred

    Occupation:
    Dogsbody and personal servant to my kids
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    The scary thing is, if I had a wife who liked to gamble as well, my natural assumption would be that she would lose our money and take away my play tokens! Yes, I would be a hypocrite and many of the statements/scenarios written above I would have said to her if she gambled!
     
  24. Jun 9, 2018
  25. goatwack

    goatwack Denny, two is great, but three is a crowd CAG

    Occupation:
    Stuntman
    Location:
    Londonia
    She'd get 80% of the gambling budget by default :laugh:

    Glad that my partner isn't into gambling, slotting, none of it. She keeps me grounded. And skint in so many other ways!
     
    Borgie, snorky510238 and RichyJ75 like this.
  26. Jun 9, 2018
  27. ed skull murphy

    ed skull murphy Trollish behavior - quit the forum

    Occupation:
    N/A
    Location:
    Albion
    Most non-gamblers think we are foolish, f'k em! :)
     
    RichyJ75 likes this.
  28. Jun 9, 2018
  29. snorky510238

    snorky510238 Chief glockenspiel maker

    Location:
    Uk
    It’s a birds of a feather thing really. Think about it, if we all had someone we could talk to openly and without criticism and go on and on about near misses, decent wins, slots being rigged ( had to put that in ) and have them still be remotely interested after 2 minutes then we wouldn’t all be posting on here.
     
  30. Jun 9, 2018
  31. sufferinsilence

    sufferinsilence Full Member

    Location:
    Belgium
    I live with my brother so obviously he knows about it, he knows how much I put in and how much I withdraw. He doesn't gamble and he knows I never put in more than I can afford and make sure my part of our living costs is covered. Other than that I have a friend that I occasionally talk to about it, also both wins and losses. My parents are sadly gone but my dad used to gamble a bit on the horses so I doubt he would mind :)

    In the end there's no shame in having a hobby, every hobby costs money and I've had one that was way more expensive: remote control cars... Oh boy, the money I sunk into that was ridiculous compared to gambling and the amount of hours of entertainment aren't that different. Atleast with gambling you can actually get something back sometimes.
     
  32. Jun 9, 2018
  33. nikantw

    nikantw Ueber Meister MM PABaccred

    Occupation:
    A bit of this and that
    Location:
    EU
    So we can't openly discuss it. Ok, keep it a secret then, its not a huge problem.
    But then you have government officials take advantage of this and say "gambling is evil, make gamblers pay huge taxes" or/and "winning makes people addicted, lets make sure they don't win".

    I am not making this up, there are huge taxes on both losses and wins in many countries. And the second is a public statement of a former head of the GC in my country. :eek:
     
    snorky510238, goatwack and RichyJ75 like this.
  34. Jun 9, 2018
  35. Takkaone

    Takkaone Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    logistics (strangely has VERY little to do with "l
    Location:
    somewhere surrounded by incompetence (geographic l
    Sweden has (had?) both these things perfectioned in their gambling-/tax-laws... Playing professional online-poker you would have to pay taxes on every single POT won...

    Win pot xx.xx € -> you now owe income-tax on the whole amount of that pot (not even deducting the money you paid into the pot yourself)... And deduction of losses capped at some ridiculously low amount per month / year... Basically meaning that you could play 1million hands of breakeven-poker at lowish / medium stakes -> owing income-tax on several millions of € for all that "profit" you made there...
     
    adamtheaddict and snorky510238 like this.
  36. Jun 9, 2018
  37. snorky510238

    snorky510238 Chief glockenspiel maker

    Location:
    Uk
    That’s unreal I never knew that. Is it done automatically each hand or how do they keep track of it.
     
  38. Jun 9, 2018
  39. Takkaone

    Takkaone Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    logistics (strangely has VERY little to do with "l
    Location:
    somewhere surrounded by incompetence (geographic l
    That would obv. only work on paper for some superhonest (idiot) taxpayer really providing the IRS with the required data... Strictly following the letter of law it would be reality though...

    Kinda the same "tax-logic" led to the fall of german industrial & former manager of FC Bayern München - Uli Hoeneß... His game was trading in stocks: 20million starting balance -> highpoint roughly 150million -> back to square one... That happened with at least 50000 stock-trades he made 2001-2010... Owing taxes on nearly every single profitable trade but not being legally allowed to deduct losses made on other trades (deuductions capped ultra-ridiculously low amount)...

    Edith: Well, what brought him behind bars was most likely keeping his mouth shut about others involved in these and several other shenanigans... Taking one for the team - so to speak...
     
    ed skull murphy and snorky510238 like this.

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