Does My Friend Have a Gambling Problem?

[cec999]

yes

Someone who has trouble to pay the rent at the of the month SHOULD NOT gamble online because I really believe that "low revenue people" will always believe that gambling could maybe one day give them the money they need and thats the dangerous part. Gambling has to be purely recreational, but it's only my opinion!

 

[Jasminebed]

A true friend indeed

James, I do hope your friend learns from her mistake. And now that she has "come clean" with you, she has at least one place to talk about it. A GA group, or even an online chapter might be another. And a second job will help get her back on track faster, and having worked two myself to get out of debt *not gambling related* its a lesson I do not want to repeat.

 

[james01]

Thank you everyone again. I called her again today, and she said that she's feeling a bit less down now that she has a plan. She also found a co-worker who can take her partway home from work, so that saves her a load of time on the public transit.

I really believe that she's off the gambling, but I know these things aren't simple. I know that there's still a danger of her "falling off the wagon." I asked another girl I know to keep track of her, and they're going to watch a DVD tonight, so that's good. I don't want to have babysitters all the time, but I'm just worried about leaving her alone.

 

[paul02085]

Thank you everyone again. I called her again today, and she said that she's feeling a bit less down now that she has a plan. She also found a co-worker who can take her partway home from work, so that saves her a load of time on the public transit.

I really believe that she's off the gambling, but I know these things aren't simple. I know that there's still a danger of her "falling off the wagon." I asked another girl I know to keep track of her, and they're going to watch a DVD tonight, so that's good. I don't want to have babysitters all the time, but I'm just worried about leaving her alone.

It sure must be nice to be able to have friends of the opposite sex. Some people i know cant do what ur doing for your friend without having unpure thoughts .
In fact some people cant even read about it without having unpure thoughts

 

[GaryWatson]

It sure must be nice to be able to have friends of the opposite sex. Some people i know cant do what ur doing for your friend without having unpure thoughts .
In fact some people cant even read about it without having unpure thoughts

We all have unpure thoughts, if not, why not? On the last page, I think there was a bit of attraction & a bit of wanted affection Go for it

 

[babs7262]

Most of my friends are guys except a few. I think the opposite sex makes a better friend anyway. Although, RIch and I were friends for 2 years before we started dating and now we are

I dont like having too many "girl" friends, they get catty alot and I hate that kind of shit. Im a to the point gal and hate nonsense lol.

Kudos James
Your a good friend! Just be careful because I have a friend with a different kind of problem and it backfired on me. We still remain friends but its not the same

 

[GaryWatson]

Just be careful because I have a friend with a different kind of problem and it backfired on me. We still remain friends but its not the same

ditto

 

[james01]

Jeez - you guys know me better than I know myself.

Yesterday morning, I called my on-again, off-again SO and she said she's seeing someone.

So I took out Tamtam (her nickname) like I said I would, and we were supposed to meet other friends at the pub. They ended up going to some party and Tamtam and I didn't really feel like going to this party, so we hung out at the pub for a while. We didn't even have much to drink - cuz I was driving I just had one beer and the rest was cokes, and Tamtam had like 3 pina coladas over like 2 hours.

So I told her how my o-a,o-a SO is seeing someone, and I was suddenly all sad because I've kinda known this is coming for a long time, and Tamtam gave me a hug, and all the sudden, we were kissing. And then we were both like Whoa! where did that come from?

She excused herself to go to the bathroom, and I downed 2 ice waters while she was away, and then I took her home.

I'm pretty freaked. I never felt this way about her. She's not really pretty - kinda fat, in fact. We've been friends forever. I don't wanna screw that up. What if we go out and she's like... awful as a girlfriend?

Okay, I'm getting WAY WAY WAY off topic here. So, you guys can tell me to shut up and stop being such a chick about this.

Btw, she's still off the gambling. I hope last night wasn't a setback. I haven't had the guts to call her yet, but I asked another girl to call her and she said Tamtam's ok.

 

[babs7262]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Im overweight myself and my husband doesnt know it yet lol. Here's a great example. I gained some weight and we started dating at my almost too heavy weight. After awhile I got my "too heavy weight" I lost the weight and started to get compliments and Rich said to his friend (who ended up telling me) "how come everyone is telling Barbara that she lost alot of weight" His friend said "because she lost alot " Rich said "how come i cant see any difference?" his friend said "because you only notice her heart"

Please dont let her looks disway you, people get older, fatter, thinner, whatever it is, it happens. The heart and soul stay the same forever and if thats what attracts you to her then she will never change no matter how much she gains or loses. DOnt worry about what your mates think if she makes you happy. If she has been your friend this long, just think of how happy you could be together! You know each others' faults and secrets, youve seen each other at your best and worst. Love cant be found my friend, Love happens and when it does, be grateful and move on!

In my eyes...there is no fat and ugly or pretty and thin, there is mean and nice and caring and non caring. Go for those qualities that cant change because everything else will eventually

 

[GaryWatson]

 

[cslate]

Well
I must quote Brian (Family Guy)
I would wreck the bitch.

Sorry.

I just seen the episode....seems kinda the same.

Good luck though.....

My experiance was the same...giver and deal with it.

 

[bb28]

Crude and Rude!

Well
I must quote Brian (Family Guy)
I would wreck the bitch.

Sorry.

I just seen the episode....seems kinda the same.

Good luck though.....

My experiance was the same...giver and deal with it.

 

[james01]

We are soooo far off topic here.

I finally got up the guts to call her, and I had no idea what to say, so I asked her out to a movie, but she's busy tonight. I told her I'll call her tomorrow.

I hope she's not falling for me just because I gave her some money.
Am I doing the right thing? Should I go out with her?

Help!

 

[GaryWatson]

I think you miss the point.

If you like her & she likes you shag.

If you are asking about looks, she should dump you on the spot. She is too good for you.

What do you want? A friend who you have a special connection to? or a friend who you think is ugly but feel like the odd shag when you get drunk & consider it a safe option.

Sorry Babbs for the crudeness

 

[GaryWatson]

In English!!!

friendship starts from a mutual attraction. Non sexual.
Mistakes happen that way, non intentional.

To think you are too good for someone is shallow and insulting (remember the mutual friendship).

I think there was more to the story than the on/off relationship. Maybe more of a controlling downgrading guy, where his long term on/off cant get away from him.

So you agree we know you better than you do, want me to continue?

 

[james01]

Okay - I wasn't exactly saying that I wouldn't date her because she's fat. I was just saying that I'm not so attracted to her.

I CERTAINLY wouldn't shag her for kicks. I'm not that kind of person. If I'm with her, I'm with her.

The on-again off-again was her thing. I liked her, a lot. She just kept "needing space." I'm actually pretty sad that she broke up with me, which is another reason why I'm not sure I want to be with Tamtam - I don't want to use a friend for a rebound.

Most importantly, I don't want her to feel like she's "paying me back." She's a nice girl, really nice. I'm just not so attracted to her, and I'm not sure we have enough in common.

 

[GaryWatson]

Haha, I thought I would give you a hard time.

If you are not so attracted to her, maybe you should stay friends or you wont remain friends much longer.

It's unfair to date someone if you have to question her looks. Down the line it will have a bad effect on her confidence.

There's nothing wrong with not being physically attracted to someone, you just need to know where to draw the line or you will be hurting more than a long term friendship.

 

[zebedy]

they should rename this thread oprahmeister

 

[babs7262]

So it got derailed a little lol. As long as the OP doesnt mind right?

You know whats funny. Rich liked me more than a friend a lot earlier than I did him because I just thought he was too skinny (believe it or not). It took 2 years to give it a shot. I thought to myself, how could I not date him just because he's skinny when I got upset about people judging me because I wasnt? I was being such a hypocrite

We are married 9 years this September and on top of we dont have much in common other than that we love and respect and trust each other. The Today show had a Dr on about having things in common and the people who are married the longest have the least in common. If you are too much alike then things can get crazy.

Im not telling you to date or not to date her, but what Im saying is ...Dont overthink this too much. Go with the flow and stop secod guessing yourself. If it happens, it happens

 

[kakata]

My wife was.... .... was 100 pounds ago a nice, actually ,Very nice looking lady, that was 100 pounds ago.


James if you dont really like her....just continue to be a friend as you have been sofar....my 2 cents

 

[Jasminebed]

My two cents

You and Tamtam are friends, just leave it like that for now. She is in trouble, and may not see you for the white charger you are riding.

And for the on again, off again relationship, when a gal says she "needs a break" it means she is shopping around for someone better, but wants you to be available should it not work out, or she is lonely or horny.

I don't know how old you are, but if a relationship has too many breakups, it is not meant to be.

And just because you helped Tamtam out, you do not become personally responsible for her. Asking her "out" to a movie is kinda a date thing, and might be misinterpreted, unless it is something you already do regularly. A meal or a drink out gives more a chance to talk, and I thought that you asked another friend to check in as well was a great idea.

Again, just an old buttinsky, but I hope all find true love and happiness. And true friends and laughter are a great place to be as well.

 

[james01]

Thanks Jasminebed,

We ended up not going to the movies, as she had a rough day at work. We just talked on the phone for a while instead. We talked about the kiss and she said that she's not into it so much either, so all's well for now.

Thank you everyone for all your support especially as we've drifted more and more off topic.

 

[Darem1]

My two cents worth

I finally had a chance to read this thread. The best thing that happened to your friend (since she really cannot afford to gamble) is that she lost big the first time. Had she won, she might become addicted, but if she wasn't already and this was her first time gambling then I think she should be OK.
Probably learned her lesson. Hope so. Not attracted to her? Keep her as a friend. As far as lending her money, that was a nice thing to do. Just understand that a loan to a friend often becomes a gift. I've been there
(on the lending/gifting end.) As far as your on again off again relationship,
well, you will work that out for yourself. Good luck to you and your friend.