- Joined
- Dec 16, 2004
- Location
- Palm Bay Florida
Doctor,Doctor
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil till I get there
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do,
Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
~~~~~~~
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you choking?
No, I really did!
~~~~~~~
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone.
~~~~~~~
Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois? The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them.
~~~~~~~
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion.
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
~~~~~~~
Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito
Go away, sucker!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaaaaaad!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!
~~~~~~~
Doctor these pills you gave me for BO... What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from under my arms!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee
Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don't worry it's just a chain reaction!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible
Who said that?
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth...
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear, that's a lot of calories!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible!
What sister?
~~~~~~~
Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places
Well don't go back there again then!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder
Great, can you help me with my accounts then please!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling up!
Just simmer down!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly
Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
We must get to the core of this!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail
Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell!
~~~~~~~
Doctor: You need new glasses Patient: How do you know?, I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin.
Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog
Your just playing too much croquet!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo.
Are you stringing me along!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do?
Saw the legs off of your bed!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?
You have a broken finger!
~~~~~~~
Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits! What, you mean those square ones?
Yes! The ones you put butter on? Yes! Oh, You're Crackers!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!
Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together then
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake
Sleep in another room then!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well
don't point him at anyone until I get there!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen
Well sit down and write your name!
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil till I get there
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do,
Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
~~~~~~~
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you choking?
No, I really did!
~~~~~~~
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone.
~~~~~~~
Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois? The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them.
~~~~~~~
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion.
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
~~~~~~~
Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito
Go away, sucker!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaaaaaad!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!
~~~~~~~
Doctor these pills you gave me for BO... What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from under my arms!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee
Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don't worry it's just a chain reaction!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible
Who said that?
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth...
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear, that's a lot of calories!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible!
What sister?
~~~~~~~
Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places
Well don't go back there again then!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder
Great, can you help me with my accounts then please!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling up!
Just simmer down!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly
Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
We must get to the core of this!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail
Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell!
~~~~~~~
Doctor: You need new glasses Patient: How do you know?, I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin.
Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog
Your just playing too much croquet!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo.
Are you stringing me along!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do?
Saw the legs off of your bed!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?
You have a broken finger!
~~~~~~~
Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits! What, you mean those square ones?
Yes! The ones you put butter on? Yes! Oh, You're Crackers!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!
Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together then
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake
Sleep in another room then!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well
don't point him at anyone until I get there!
~~~~~~~
Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen
Well sit down and write your name!
