Christmas Appeal HELP!

[dunover]

OK, it's that time of year when we should consider helping those less fortunate than ourselves, and pause for thought to think of those that will not have the happy, enjoyable season of goodwill that you will.

I don't ask for money, but just ideas to ease my suffering and those like myself who find this month particularly unpleasant.

In their infinite wisdom to appeal to the demographic with single-figure IQ's, the TV schedulers hit us with a triple whammy of shit in December. We have some mincing sort of waltzing show on BBC, the usual tired karaoke show with which to generate this year's plastic No. 1 [STRIKE]cover version[/STRIKE] single and to rub salt in the wound 'I'm a skint z-lister eating lizards' thingy every fucking night on ITV.

Now as if this weren't enough, the latter show is hosted by that gibbering, dribbling pair of Geordie mental defectives that I won't mention but I know one of them listened to their own drivel and inanities too much and ended up in a mental asylum, so that is indicative of the toxic trash they emit.

Sometimes I escape with football on the radio, a book or play solitaire. I just need ideas for cheap, quiet pastimes that can occupy my mind at this distressing time of year. Short of taking sleeping pills or tranquilizers to hide away, I don't know what to do?

 

[4048]

Get yourself a Netflix or HBO account, set your slots to auto spin in the background and binge away! Tons of high quality shows on either one. At least that's what I tend to do.
TV is generally crap at any time of year, around the 23th-25th of December is the only time I actually do bother to turn the box on.

 

[illu88]

OK, it's that time of year when we should consider helping those less fortunate than ourselves, and pause for thought to think of those that will not have the happy, enjoyable season of goodwill that you will.

I don't ask for money, but just ideas to ease my suffering and those like myself who find this month particularly unpleasant.

In their infinite wisdom to appeal to the demographic with single-figure IQ's, the TV schedulers hit us with a triple whammy of shit in December. We have some mincing sort of waltzing show on BBC, the usual tired karaoke show with which to generate this year's plastic No. 1 [STRIKE]cover version[/STRIKE] single and to rub salt in the wound 'I'm a skint z-lister eating lizards' thingy every fucking night on ITV.

Now as if this weren't enough, the latter show is hosted by that gibbering, dribbling pair of Geordie mental defectives that I won't mention but I know one of them listened to their own drivel and inanities too much and ended up in a mental asylum, so that is indicative of the toxic trash they emit.

Sometimes I escape with football on the radio, a book or play solitaire. I just need ideas for cheap, quiet pastimes that can occupy my mind at this distressing time of year. Short of taking sleeping pills or tranquilizers to hide away, I don't know what to do?

I m sorry but first i need a dolmetscher for that text.

 

[illu88]

I m sorry but first i need a dolmetscher for that text.

--> In their infinite wisdom to appeal to the demographic with single-figure IQ's, the TV schedulers hit us with a triple whammy of shit in December. We have some mincing sort of waltzing show on BBC, the usual tired karaoke show with which to generate this year's plastic No. 1 cover version single and to rub salt in the wound 'I'm a skint z-lister eating lizards' thingy every fucking night on ITV.

 

[dunover]

Get yourself a Netflix or HBO account, set your slots to auto spin in the background and binge away! Tons of high quality shows on either one. At least that's what I tend to do.
TV is generally crap at any time of year, around the 23th-25th of December is the only time I actually do bother to turn the box on.

Got Netflix, the problem is that the witch and kids use the main big flatscreen to watch the shit on, and it's wired into that. So televisual distractions are a no-no.

 

[illu88]

Why not going to the Stadium to watch Football live ?! Premier League is playing over the X-mas days i think !!!

 

[goatwack]

Just stick on one of the religious channels and take your pick of the prosperity preachers on show.

Mike Murdock is a personal favourite of mine, when not begging for money he does at least provide some entertainment in the form of amazing sayings like "Attack is the proof that your enemy anticipates your success", or "A successful life is expensive; it will cost you something to become a champion" (kind of ties in with gambling, so there you go)

I also like steve Munsey, his toupee is something to behold. Apart from being insane, he likes to mince around on stage attempting to re-enact famous biblical scenes via his dodgy props, eg the ark of the Covenant etc.

Or you could tune in to VPA Ministries, where the guy shots "1....2....3....FIRE!!" and everyone in the audience sort of falls over as if blessed

Gotta be better than PJ & Duncan in the jungle surely?

 

[geordiecolin]

OK, it's that time of year when we should consider helping those less fortunate than ourselves, and pause for thought to think of those that will not have the happy, enjoyable season of goodwill that you will.

I don't ask for money, but just ideas to ease my suffering and those like myself who find this month particularly unpleasant.

In their infinite wisdom to appeal to the demographic with single-figure IQ's, the TV schedulers hit us with a triple whammy of shit in December. We have some mincing sort of waltzing show on BBC, the usual tired karaoke show with which to generate this year's plastic No. 1 [STRIKE]cover version[/STRIKE] single and to rub salt in the wound 'I'm a skint z-lister eating lizards' thingy every fucking night on ITV.

Now as if this weren't enough, the latter show is hosted by that gibbering, dribbling pair of Geordie mental defectives that I won't mention but I know one of them listened to their own drivel and inanities too much and ended up in a mental asylum, so that is indicative of the toxic trash they emit.

Sometimes I escape with football on the radio, a book or play solitaire. I just need ideas for cheap, quiet pastimes that can occupy my mind at this distressing time of year. Short of taking sleeping pills or tranquilizers to hide away, I don't know what to do?

And here was me genuinely thinking that you where reaching out with an appeal for help towards a very good cause. I may well have redirected my next pass it on to what ever you where appealing for.
Considering the amount of times you have alluded to Geordie's being idiots,not to mention your misogyny and your obvious contempt for gay people I find it difficult to read your crap or listen to you vids no matter how knowledgeable you may or may not be about all things slots related

 

[amourgirl]

Even better is a beautiful little app/download called Bobbymovie of which you can stream anything your heart desires, Movies TV series, Animations etc ... ALL FREE..

I have it on my iphone which I mirror to apple tv and keep up to date on all my box sets and movies. Only issue is the TV schedule over christmas looks even worse because you have seen everything.

Another recommendation is again an ios app, New Yahtzee. Play against other people floating in the icloud!

Oh and can't forget you could always play some online Backgammon - Bloody love that game! I'll have to challenge you to a few rounds though....

Get yourself a Netflix or HBO account, set your slots to auto spin in the background and binge away! Tons of high quality shows on either one. At least that's what I tend to do.
TV is generally crap at any time of year, around the 23th-25th of December is the only time I actually do bother to turn the box on.

 

[bebo67]

Get yourself a Netflix or HBO account, set your slots to auto spin in the background and binge away! Tons of high quality shows on either one. At least that's what I tend to do.
TV is generally crap at any time of year, around the 23th-25th of December is the only time I actually do bother to turn the box on.

I binged on Netflix when I was recovering. It was a great past time. Keep your radio off and only play CD's. Get your food shopping done now so you don't have to go during the madness. One great series I watched was Sense8. Very controversial series, but the intelligence that went into making it was amazing. As with alot of their Netflix originals.

 

[goatwack]

Aye, it is something of a golden age in terms of tv series right now. Apart from all the exclusive Netflix & Amazon stuff doing the rounds, I have my trusty Sky Atlantic to pass those winter blues.

Just finished bingeing The Deuce (pretty good) and am almost through Babylon Berlin. The production values on that are lavish.....but for $40mil you'd expect that

 

[Steviedoo]

And here was me genuinely thinking that you where reaching out with an appeal for help towards a very good cause. I may well have redirected my next pass it on to what ever you where appealing for.
Considering the amount of times you have alluded to Geordie's being idiots,not to mention your misogyny and your obvious contempt for gay people I find it difficult to read your crap or listen to you vids no matter how knowledgeable you may or may not be about all things slots related

is this british humor we non brits don't get?? asking for a friend...

 

[Jono777]

You know I'd jump at the chance to help you out mate but right now, I'm probably one of the most depressed, bored out my skull, miserable gits on the planet (sounds like I'm pretty much in the same boat as yourself )

Desperate to find something to do myself.

PC based stuff, I USED to like playing the more in depth puzzle/strategy/hidden object games - Stab in the dark but I think in small doses you'd actually like these, can grab em 2nd hand off e-bay for pennies.

Another daft but semi-amusing thing to pass a bit of time is to list an "unsellable - sellable" item, again on e-bay, now we're not talking soiled or spunked trollies here, just something totally random from the house which has maybe occupied a bottom draw for the last 10 years, trust me you'll be surprised lol.

I'll add more when I've ate

 

[goatwack]

Probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I've been playing ye olde star Wars Battlefront 2 which is pretty good fun, if you like videogames, Star Wars and pew pew shooting frolics.

Now can you imagine Dunover playing online, his swear-o-meter would be off the hook as he gets killed by that 15-year old French kid sniping from half the map away. I know mine is

 

[geordiecolin]

is this british humor we non brits don't get?? asking for a friend...

I see no humour at all from misogyny,homophobia, consistent regional contempt or belittling mental health. If you have no issues with those sort of comments that we hear consistently from the poster then that is up to you

 

[dunover]

Probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I've been playing ye olde star Wars Battlefront 2 which is pretty good fun, if you like videogames, Star Wars and pew pew shooting frolics.

Now can you imagine Dunover playing online, his swear-o-meter would be off the hook as he gets killed by that 15-year old French kid sniping from half the map away. I know mine is

Yes, along the lines of what I was thinking. I can beat every Win10 Freecell game now, bored with that, bored with slotting so some sort of game that's part reflex and part cerebral (not darts lol) so a good ol' shoot-em-up sounds good.

 

[KasinoKing]

Personally I watch X-factor religiously, and I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!
The only downer with the latter is it's only on for 3 weeks and then we have to wait months until Britain's Got Talent comes back...
You can keep Strictly Come When Dancing though - not my cup of tea.

I like Ant & Dec, and I'm not ashamed to admit it!

KK

 

[dunover]

Personally I watch X-factor religiously, and I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!
The only downer with the latter is it's only on for 3 weeks and then we have to wait months until Britain's Got Talent comes back...
You can keep Strictly Come When Dancing though - not my cup of tea.

I like Ant & Dec, and I'm not ashamed to admit it!

KK

Phew! You had me going there....

 

[Steviedoo]

I see no humour at all from misogyny,homophobia, consistent regional contempt or belittling mental health. If you have no issues with those sort of comments that we hear consistently from the poster then that is up to you

wow...actually thought you were joking when you posted that attack on dunover....

yes all of those things are not humorous....however....everyone is entitled to his or her beliefs...even the one's you don't agree with........but you brought it up so you can...do what exactly....

 

[Jono777]

Another idea (really hope this doesn't go down like a lead balloon)

You can always start a new thread here on CM which some may not agree with and ruffle a few feathers!

 

[dunover]

is this british humor we non brits don't get?? asking for a friend...

No, it's the new breed of 'professional umbrage-taker' that has appeared in the UK, USA and other countries in the last couple of decades since the lib-fascists infiltrated the media and councils etc. Basically they work like the old East German Stasi, staying silent and observing, waiting for the slightest self-perceived transgression of their doctrine of political correctness. Then they heap wrath upon the 'offender', usually trying to get them taken to court, sacked from their job or ridiculed and ostracised at the very least.

The concept that most humour usually has a specific subject, i.e. Essex Girls, Irish, Scousers, Women, Men etc. is alien to them and this is why latter-day comedians can only talk about Facebook, periods and other quite banal and boring things.

Don't read too much into the one poster who clearly cannot take the topic as a bit of humour as intended and take part in the banter. Every office, workplace or pub has one and the majority tend to just ignore them and/or carry on where they're gone. Quite often those most keen on enforcing their rules on others have achievement or confidence issues too.

If you don't like it or don't want to take part, 'jog on' as they say.

They will always find a bone to pick - if for example I'd used the term 'Northern Gits' I would have been 'anti Northerner'. Mincing is an effeminate walk that some have associated with gay men, although anyone can 'mince'. My missus is a witch, you'll have to trust me on that one, although apparently that makes me a misogynist.

 

[goatwack]

What? No more scouser jokes??

For old times sake, let's reminisce one last time, and remind ourselves what your average bunch look like:

 

[dunover]

What? No more scouser jokes??

For old times sake, let's reminisce one last time, and remind ourselves what your average bunch look like:

View attachment 84255

They've all got suits on!! Were they in court that day? *Exemption appealed under the Scouserphobic Comedy Act 2006 Part 3 Clause 10)

 

[goatwack]

They've all got suits on!! Were they in court that day? *Exemption appealed under the Scouserphobic Comedy Act 2006 Part 3 Clause 10)

Sorry, wrong pic.

I meant this one. After they'd set fire to several cars (of course)

 

[ed skull murphy]

Get yourself a sledgehammer and smash the f**k out of that insidious mind-control machine, before your family are irreversibly impaired.