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Discussion in 'Quit Gambling' started by sparkz, Apr 9, 2014.

    Apr 9, 2014
  1. sparkz

    sparkz Senior Member

    I guess this is unusual for a member since 2007 to be posting in this part of the forum but I guess it's something I have known for a while.

    I can remember as a kid the whole family were horse racing fans. Local race event's, even some out of town event's we went to. Often we were allowed in the VIP area's (Nothing to it, just they served champagne instead of beer but I was too young to drink anyway).

    A family member was a complete responsible gambler. I guess to him he had no idea of the dangers of gambling and saw no problem introducing me to the thrill of betting £1 on a 100 to 1 outsider, seeing it come in and being able to stock up on "free" super nintendo games with the winnings.

    I guess online was my downfall. The problem is it is too fun. I remember nearly 10 years back when I gambled online for the first time... Sheerluck Holmes slot at William Hill. It was just fun at that point, VWM will know full well about printing off a winning ticket and cashing it in at the William Hill bookmakers.

    Years went on and so did the lack of knowing the value of cash.... £10 deposit now and again turned into £100's in 1 session.

    I guess I even knew I had a problem when Vegas Regal were just about (or nearly) as big as 32Red. Free chips when a new game was launched, free chips at xmas, birthdays, easter, valentines day....

    Still though, I didn't care that I lost all £700 of my wages the month before, it was payday again and I could win it all back (yeah right).

    That's a pattern than emerged. Living off borrowed money... Losing 1 month, winning the next, giving it all back right away. I feel that alone has gradually put me into a state of diagnosed depression.

    The sad truth for me I think is the industry is so large, theres always somewhere to deposit. Hell, over the years I have done as much as possible to restrict my gambling. Self excluding for example (Often casino's only allow it for 6 months and then send an email saying "Self exclude expired... come back and fill our boots"), emails to regulators to get my details blacklisted.

    Been to GA (sadly they are no good), Gamcare (Equally no help), Gambling therapy (just as bad).

    So many rogue affils out there that spam us all and even pretend to be off the casino, we sign up, deposit, have winnings forfeited and then (well in my case anyway) attempt to chase the forfeited funds but end up losing £1000's at another casino.

    Personally for me I have done it all, youtube gambling diary's, I even have a "cash only" card to restrict any possibility of gambling.

    There always seems to be another door that opens though. I took all my cash out of the bank at 1 point when I had a VISA card so I didn't gamble it online.... But what did I end up doing?? I took it down the bookies/arcades and losing £1200+ in 1 evening on machines that barely pay 90%.

    When I downgraded to a cash only card I thought I could finally work to better myself with no temptations.... then found out I could deposit via direct bank transfer.

    So I feel that now is the time to shut every single thing off. I am changing ISP just so I dont have to use my ISP's email address that is filled with casino spam and temptation. Sadly my CM account will have to go to "non gambler" mode as I do like joining in with banter, but it keeps "casino" and gambling thoughts in my mind which can be a trigger.

    I feel the rock bottom point was borrowing money I cant afford to pay back to my mum to gamble not long back, plus maxing my overdraft which if i'm honest, as someone on carers allowance it will take months to pay back.

    I know I can do it and every single barrier is in place now. Will be continuing with recovery vids too.

    Thanks to all here and I hope you all stay safe when gambling.... I certainly have no grudge towards any casino (apart from rogues where I never played anyway). All the 1's here are reputable businesses.

    Thanks again to (This is off the top of my head from people I have spoken to through posts here so sorry if I missed anyone):

    Vinylweatherman, Jasmine, dunover, Igor @ betat, Max, That other dude at bet-at, Paul @ BGO, Grumpy sod (Nifty... only kidding), Ben @ Guts, The old Vegal Regal rep, member who told me i'm in "last chance saloon" years back (and got a ban for it), simmo, and of course the casinomeister himself.

    Cheers all. Been a pleasure to be here
    18 people like this.
  2. Apr 9, 2014
  3. bigjohn

    bigjohn Dormant account

    Swimming Pool Serviceman
    Northeast Coastal USA
    Best of luck to you. If this is the direction you really want to go, stay strong and you can do it.

    Start a nice savings account for yourself and put in half of what you would have thrown to the sharks each period then go on holiday or get something really nice for somebody you care about.

    Take care!:cheers:
    1 person likes this.
  4. Apr 9, 2014
  5. KasinoKing

    KasinoKing WebMeister & Slotaholic.. CAG MM PABnonaccred webmeister

    House-Husband and Casino Advisor
    Bexhill on sea, England
    Well done for recognising you have a BIG problem and making BIG steps to put it right.
    It may take a very long time, but always remember; a journey of 1,000 miles starts with but a single step.

    Be strong & good luck!
    1 person likes this.
  6. Apr 9, 2014
  7. klara1968

    klara1968 Dormant account



    1 person likes this.
  8. Apr 9, 2014
  9. chayton

    chayton aka LooHoo CAG PABnonaccred webmeister

    Freelance Designer
    Edmonton Canada
    I hope you find yourself in a better place this time next year. Best of luck to you. :thumbsup:
    1 person likes this.
  10. Apr 9, 2014
  11. jjezebel37

    jjezebel37 Meister Member mm1

    Belfast (Northern Ireland)
    Best of luck :)
    1 person likes this.
  12. Apr 9, 2014
  13. osulle

    osulle Ueber Meister CAG mm4 mm1

    Northern hemisphere
    Best of luck to you Sparkx. Have you thought about looking into behaviour modification therapy? From what I have read it has more success at treating issues like problem gambling than the traditional approaches. You could probably do some research online, it might give you some tools to help. Just a suggestion.

    Stay strong and have faith in yourself that you can do it. We are all rooting for you:)
    1 person likes this.
  14. Apr 9, 2014
  15. poisonfish

    poisonfish Full Member

    operating theatre technician
    Admitting you have a gambling problem is probably the hardest step.
    Good Luck with it all.
    1 person likes this.
  16. Apr 9, 2014
  17. sparkz

    sparkz Senior Member

    Thanks so much all.

    I had a quick pint earlier at the pub too and saw people on the fruit machines. It made me think even more.... Now if people playing them that I saw, put £1 or £2 in and lost... They would walk away. I was thinking "hell, if I played that, I wouldn't be able to walk away £1 down, I would play until either every penny was gone or I win that £1 back and more".

    That modification therapy sounds like a top idea. It's 1 thing sitting round with a group of people repeating the lines "I will not gamble today", "I will not carry money on me to gamble with" (GA) and another actually having mind changing therapy.

    It would help since GA, Gamcare, etc all take this neutral stance. They are funded by the industry itself so it's not surprising (Clearly if they said they didn't agree with gambling for any reason, voluntary contribution funding will be cut). I wont forget with a GA chat once, being kicked out of the room. Someone was saying about how daytime glamorised gambling adverts on tv are a trigger, especially for children (As they make it seem like no risk fun and feature famous celebrity's/cartoon slogans). I had my input but boom was gone.

    Was having a read too and apparently problem gambling is linked to a part of the brain. It's 1 of those things where nobody will know of a potential to become a problem gambler until they start.

    I think my aim now is a holiday. A few of you mention excitement in other places.... So for me it's just about continuing with the barriers, taking months to clear off the debt and working towards a month in Spain. Heat, drinks and sitting on my backside all day next to a pool. :D
    1 person likes this.
  18. Apr 9, 2014
  19. osulle

    osulle Ueber Meister CAG mm4 mm1

    Northern hemisphere
    In a nutshell the cognitive- behavioural modification model gives the individual the control (not a higher power) so you are in control of your actions. Then it teaches you to think of the consequences before an action for example if you have the urge to gamble (or drink etc) think of the outcomes first like you will be broke and in debt and won't be able to sit on that beach in Spain doing nothing:D It's a very simplified explanation but when I read about it a few years ago it made a whole lot of sense to me. In the US this approach is being used more in addiction recovery centres and has more long term success than AA, NA or GA.

    I hope you have a blast on that beach in Spain this year:)
  20. Apr 10, 2014
  21. Jasminebed

    Jasminebed Aspiring old lady

    Not in workforce
    Sparkz, it saddened me so to read that your gambling is out of control, and has been for a long time.

    The opportunity to gamble is very pervasive, not only online. I have certainly had my own issues with it, and am well aware of the problems I've caused myself in the past.

    If it's been a while since attending GA, I'd give it another go. Some groups are just better than others, depending on who is attending. Even if you get one supportive friend, or walk away with a single strategy, it will prove worth your time.

    Talk with your family physician, and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. There are medications that can help often with issues like impulse control and obsessive behaviours.

    Short term, put systems in place to be unable to gamble. Spending every penny you have for the month as soon as you get it can be one. Pay the bills, buy enough groceries for the month, and pay down your debts. It's rotten being broke of course, but you are broke gambling now, so it won't be that different.

    If you are trying to save for a trip with your Mom, give Mom your share of the money. Or consider purchasing one where you can make installment payments, with payment to be completed a few weeks before travelling, and pay on it every month.

    Addictions are complex, and few beat them alone. But ultimately those who do beat them truly do it alone on a deeper level. Keeping a journal can be very therapeutic and give you insight into your motivations, desires and behaviour.

    It took a lot of guts to confess here, that's a very big step. I wish you success on your journey to recovery.
    2 people like this.
  22. Apr 10, 2014
  23. dunover

    dunover Unofficial T&C's Editor Staff Member CAG PABnononaccred PABnonaccred PABinit mm3 webmeister

    International Money Launderer
    the bus shelter, opposite GCHQ Benhall
    Kudos for coming here and telling your salutary tale. You've clearly made your mind up, which is a big positive, focus on that payday, the one when you've got ALL your wages because debts are repaid and you have beaten the temptation for a good period of time. Right now that seems a long time ahead, but time does pass quick. You are clearly an intelligent person and so many gamblers are which often makes their self-loathing worse, because they know better.
    The past is the past - the money you've spent should be seen as food you've eaten. It's long gone, consumed and done with and you'll not see it again. Write it off and don't feel tied to it.

    Sparkz - I wish you all the best for the future and I believe you will succeed, because you deserve to. :thumbsup::thumbsup:
    1 person likes this.
  24. Apr 14, 2014
  25. sparkz

    sparkz Senior Member

    Thanks both.

    Perhaps GA could be but it's almost impossible to get to a meeting these days. The nearest 1 means a 45 min bus journey, last bus back is at something like 5pm but the meeting isn't until 8 or 9pm.

    We have my mums parkinsons specialist coming here in the next week so that will a great chance I think of finding out about that sort of medication for me. She's great to ask as she deals with all sorts of departments so would probably know the best route I can go down.

    I think my mum will probably have to go into respite care for the time I go away as shes barely mobile these days and wouldn't be able to travel that far. Although a holiday closer to where I live with her could be an idea.

    Totally agree with that dunover. Completely accepted to money is gone, well actually I feel glad in a way.

    When I look at the small steps to pay off the debt I know it means 3 months of living on pennys. That means no money at all for any potential gambling. It will be 3 months 100% gamble free. Thats probably what I need to kick start this new recovery process.

    If anything now i'm feeling more gutted that I lost my phone 2 Saturdays ago (It just show's i'm too old for nightclubs, nightmare weekend that was) that owing money because of gambling

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