I guess this is unusual for a member since 2007 to be posting in this part of the forum but I guess it's something I have known for a while.
I can remember as a kid the whole family were horse racing fans. Local race event's, even some out of town event's we went to. Often we were allowed in the VIP area's (Nothing to it, just they served champagne instead of beer but I was too young to drink anyway).
A family member was a complete responsible gambler. I guess to him he had no idea of the dangers of gambling and saw no problem introducing me to the thrill of betting £1 on a 100 to 1 outsider, seeing it come in and being able to stock up on "free" super nintendo games with the winnings.
I guess online was my downfall. The problem is it is too fun. I remember nearly 10 years back when I gambled online for the first time... Sheerluck Holmes slot at William Hill. It was just fun at that point, VWM will know full well about printing off a winning ticket and cashing it in at the William Hill bookmakers.
Years went on and so did the lack of knowing the value of cash.... £10 deposit now and again turned into £100's in 1 session.
I guess I even knew I had a problem when Vegas Regal were just about (or nearly) as big as 32red. Free chips when a new game was launched, free chips at xmas, birthdays, easter, valentines day....
Still though, I didn't care that I lost all £700 of my wages the month before, it was payday again and I could win it all back (yeah right).
That's a pattern than emerged. Living off borrowed money... Losing 1 month, winning the next, giving it all back right away. I feel that alone has gradually put me into a state of diagnosed depression.
The sad truth for me I think is the industry is so large, theres always somewhere to deposit. Hell, over the years I have done as much as possible to restrict my gambling. Self excluding for example (Often casino's only allow it for 6 months and then send an email saying "Self exclude expired... come back and fill our boots"), emails to regulators to get my details blacklisted.
Been to GA (sadly they are no good), Gamcare (Equally no help), Gambling therapy (just as bad).
So many rogue affils out there that spam us all and even pretend to be off the casino, we sign up, deposit, have winnings forfeited and then (well in my case anyway) attempt to chase the forfeited funds but end up losing £1000's at another casino.
Personally for me I have done it all, youtube gambling diary's, I even have a "cash only" card to restrict any possibility of gambling.
There always seems to be another door that opens though. I took all my cash out of the bank at 1 point when I had a VISA card so I didn't gamble it online.... But what did I end up doing?? I took it down the bookies/arcades and losing £1200+ in 1 evening on machines that barely pay 90%.
When I downgraded to a cash only card I thought I could finally work to better myself with no temptations.... then found out I could deposit via direct bank transfer.
So I feel that now is the time to shut every single thing off. I am changing ISP just so I dont have to use my ISP's email address that is filled with casino spam and temptation. Sadly my CM account will have to go to "non gambler" mode as I do like joining in with banter, but it keeps "casino" and gambling thoughts in my mind which can be a trigger.
I feel the rock bottom point was borrowing money I cant afford to pay back to my mum to gamble not long back, plus maxing my overdraft which if i'm honest, as someone on carers allowance it will take months to pay back.
I know I can do it and every single barrier is in place now. Will be continuing with recovery vids too.
Thanks to all here and I hope you all stay safe when gambling.... I certainly have no grudge towards any casino (apart from rogues where I never played anyway). All the 1's here are reputable businesses.
Thanks again to (This is off the top of my head from people I have spoken to through posts here so sorry if I missed anyone):
Vinylweatherman, Jasmine, dunover, Igor @ betat, Max, That other dude at bet-at, Paul @ BGO, Grumpy sod (Nifty... only kidding), Ben @ Guts, The old Vegal Regal rep, member who told me i'm in "last chance saloon" years back (and got a ban for it), simmo, and of course the casinomeister himself.
Cheers all. Been a pleasure to be here
I can remember as a kid the whole family were horse racing fans. Local race event's, even some out of town event's we went to. Often we were allowed in the VIP area's (Nothing to it, just they served champagne instead of beer but I was too young to drink anyway).
A family member was a complete responsible gambler. I guess to him he had no idea of the dangers of gambling and saw no problem introducing me to the thrill of betting £1 on a 100 to 1 outsider, seeing it come in and being able to stock up on "free" super nintendo games with the winnings.
I guess online was my downfall. The problem is it is too fun. I remember nearly 10 years back when I gambled online for the first time... Sheerluck Holmes slot at William Hill. It was just fun at that point, VWM will know full well about printing off a winning ticket and cashing it in at the William Hill bookmakers.
Years went on and so did the lack of knowing the value of cash.... £10 deposit now and again turned into £100's in 1 session.
I guess I even knew I had a problem when Vegas Regal were just about (or nearly) as big as 32red. Free chips when a new game was launched, free chips at xmas, birthdays, easter, valentines day....
Still though, I didn't care that I lost all £700 of my wages the month before, it was payday again and I could win it all back (yeah right).
That's a pattern than emerged. Living off borrowed money... Losing 1 month, winning the next, giving it all back right away. I feel that alone has gradually put me into a state of diagnosed depression.
The sad truth for me I think is the industry is so large, theres always somewhere to deposit. Hell, over the years I have done as much as possible to restrict my gambling. Self excluding for example (Often casino's only allow it for 6 months and then send an email saying "Self exclude expired... come back and fill our boots"), emails to regulators to get my details blacklisted.
Been to GA (sadly they are no good), Gamcare (Equally no help), Gambling therapy (just as bad).
So many rogue affils out there that spam us all and even pretend to be off the casino, we sign up, deposit, have winnings forfeited and then (well in my case anyway) attempt to chase the forfeited funds but end up losing £1000's at another casino.
Personally for me I have done it all, youtube gambling diary's, I even have a "cash only" card to restrict any possibility of gambling.
There always seems to be another door that opens though. I took all my cash out of the bank at 1 point when I had a VISA card so I didn't gamble it online.... But what did I end up doing?? I took it down the bookies/arcades and losing £1200+ in 1 evening on machines that barely pay 90%.
When I downgraded to a cash only card I thought I could finally work to better myself with no temptations.... then found out I could deposit via direct bank transfer.
So I feel that now is the time to shut every single thing off. I am changing ISP just so I dont have to use my ISP's email address that is filled with casino spam and temptation. Sadly my CM account will have to go to "non gambler" mode as I do like joining in with banter, but it keeps "casino" and gambling thoughts in my mind which can be a trigger.
I feel the rock bottom point was borrowing money I cant afford to pay back to my mum to gamble not long back, plus maxing my overdraft which if i'm honest, as someone on carers allowance it will take months to pay back.
I know I can do it and every single barrier is in place now. Will be continuing with recovery vids too.
Thanks to all here and I hope you all stay safe when gambling.... I certainly have no grudge towards any casino (apart from rogues where I never played anyway). All the 1's here are reputable businesses.
Thanks again to (This is off the top of my head from people I have spoken to through posts here so sorry if I missed anyone):
Vinylweatherman, Jasmine, dunover, Igor @ betat, Max, That other dude at bet-at, Paul @ BGO, Grumpy sod (Nifty... only kidding), Ben @ Guts, The old Vegal Regal rep, member who told me i'm in "last chance saloon" years back (and got a ban for it), simmo, and of course the casinomeister himself.
Cheers all. Been a pleasure to be here