BingoT
Nurses love to give shots
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2004
- Location
- Palm Bay Florida
It's that time again for all them kids to go back to school.
Just remember to watch out for them children in the morning hours if your driving around.
It's better for that child to be in school than under your car so be safe & watch for them as they get off the bus or the kids walking to school.
Have a fun time in school kids.
Us parents are on Vac soon again.
Back to School Jokes
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
'Wake up, son. It's time to go to school'
'But why, Mom? I don't want to go.'
'Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.'
'Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!'
'Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.'
'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'
'Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Head teacher!'
~~~~~~~
Back to school Little Johnny
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to
tell her that he was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
~~~~~~~
Letter From School
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
Reply from dad...
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
~~~~~~~
New Voice Mail for School
We have employed a new voice mail system and
would like the staff to have knowledge of how it operates.
When you are dialing school, please call______________.
You will then be answered by a cheery voice from us that
will give you a menu of options to meet your needs.
These are:
To lie about why your child is absent Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work Press 2
To complain about what we do Press 3
To cuss out staff members Press 4
To ask why you didn't get needed information that was in your newsletter
and several bulletins mailed to you Press 5
If you want us to raise your child Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone Press 7
If you really have an emergency, dial 9-1-1 because all these other lines
will be busy.
~~~~~~~
I Didn't Do My Homework Because...
*I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.
*I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.
*A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.
*Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him. Unfortunately, my homework drowned.
*Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.
*I'm not at liberty to say why.
*I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.
*It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas. You don't want to know the details.
*I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.
*I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
*My mom used it as a dryer sheet.
*My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.
*It's against my religion to do any homework.
*I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.
*I felt it wasn't challenging enough.
*My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.
*We had homework?!
*I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."
*I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.
*I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
~~~~~~~
Grade Change Form
Grade change form to use if you hate that D or F you just got in a class.
Date:________
Dear Professor,
My grade in ____ should be raised from _____ to ____ because:
1. There must be a mistake somewhere.
2. I was not well at the time of the examination.
3. My mind always goes blank during an examination.
4. This mark ruined my prospect of getting a scholarship.
5. This is the only course in which I received a poor grade
6. This mark grieved my mother (or Father). whose pride I am.
7. Conditions in the room were not conductive to concentration.
8. The examination was unfair and unfairly distributed over the subject
9. I have to work after school and nights; therefore I should be given a break.
10. I am married; therefore, I should be given a break.
11. I would have done much better if I had taken the examination give in one of the other sections.
12. Several people around me copied from my paper during the examination yet they received higher marks than I did. Surely this is not fair.
13. The reason I did not do better is because I am very honest. I do no wish to say anything against any other members of the class.
14. I know many of the class members who do not work as hard as I do an who got a better grade. I am recognized among my classmates as a good student - you just ask any one of them.
15. The question were ambiguous, and therefore, my answers should be graded according to the reasonable interpretations that I made of your questions.
16. Many of the questions could not be answered with straight facts; they were matters of opinion. I do not believe I should be penalize just because my opinions differ from those of the instructor.
17. I have studied this subject from the broad philosophical viewpoint and therefore, I was unable to answer your technical-based question
18. I am philosophically oriented to the realm of ideas; I respond to the sweep and scope of great intellects. My work is beyond the interest in petty details and parrot-like memorizing of those who are merely students
19. At the time of the exam, I was suffering from a severe case of cognitive dissonance and was incapable of coping with the stress of the hour.
20. It is not a higher mark I seek; I care nothing about marks; I think marks are wicked and I disapprove of them. However, this pernicious system of which I am a victim requires marks for achieving success and therefore, I seek a higher mark.
Thank you,
Name:
~~~~~~~
Cutting Class
"Jill," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose class you're cutting this time?"
"Like," the young teen replied, "uh, see, okay, like it's like I really don't like think like that's really important, y'know, like because I'm y'know, like I don't get anything out of it."
"It's English class, isn't it?" replied the smiling teacher.
~~~~~~~
Earth Science Class
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
~~~~~~~
Back to School - Teacher Jokes
Teachers and schools are great sources of fun! Here are some funny teacher jokes that'll have you laughing out loud!
Teacher: Why do you have so much trouble answering my questions?
Student: If it was easy for me, I wouldn't be in school!
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Student: 12! January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ...
Teacher: Johnny, which month has 28 days?
Student: Every month!
~~~~~~~
Back to School - Parent Jokes
Laughter is the best medicine! Release any first day of school worries with a few jokes. Practice them to tell your new buddies on the bus!
Mom: How did you find school today?
Kid: I simply hopped off the bus - and there it was!
Kid: I think we need a new teacher!
Mom: Why is that?
Kid: Our teacher doesn't know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers!
~~~~~~~
Guest Author - Victoria Abreo
Expired Image
Just remember to watch out for them children in the morning hours if your driving around.
It's better for that child to be in school than under your car so be safe & watch for them as they get off the bus or the kids walking to school.
Have a fun time in school kids.
Us parents are on Vac soon again.
Back to School Jokes
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
'Wake up, son. It's time to go to school'
'But why, Mom? I don't want to go.'
'Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.'
'Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!'
'Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.'
'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'
'Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Head teacher!'
~~~~~~~
Back to school Little Johnny
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to
tell her that he was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
~~~~~~~
Letter From School
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.
Reply from dad...
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
~~~~~~~
New Voice Mail for School
We have employed a new voice mail system and
would like the staff to have knowledge of how it operates.
When you are dialing school, please call______________.
You will then be answered by a cheery voice from us that
will give you a menu of options to meet your needs.
These are:
To lie about why your child is absent Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work Press 2
To complain about what we do Press 3
To cuss out staff members Press 4
To ask why you didn't get needed information that was in your newsletter
and several bulletins mailed to you Press 5
If you want us to raise your child Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone Press 7
If you really have an emergency, dial 9-1-1 because all these other lines
will be busy.
~~~~~~~
I Didn't Do My Homework Because...
*I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.
*I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.
*A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.
*Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him. Unfortunately, my homework drowned.
*Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.
*I'm not at liberty to say why.
*I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.
*It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas. You don't want to know the details.
*I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.
*I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
*My mom used it as a dryer sheet.
*My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.
*It's against my religion to do any homework.
*I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.
*I felt it wasn't challenging enough.
*My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.
*We had homework?!
*I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."
*I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.
*I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
~~~~~~~
Grade Change Form
Grade change form to use if you hate that D or F you just got in a class.
Date:________
Dear Professor,
My grade in ____ should be raised from _____ to ____ because:
1. There must be a mistake somewhere.
2. I was not well at the time of the examination.
3. My mind always goes blank during an examination.
4. This mark ruined my prospect of getting a scholarship.
5. This is the only course in which I received a poor grade
6. This mark grieved my mother (or Father). whose pride I am.
7. Conditions in the room were not conductive to concentration.
8. The examination was unfair and unfairly distributed over the subject
9. I have to work after school and nights; therefore I should be given a break.
10. I am married; therefore, I should be given a break.
11. I would have done much better if I had taken the examination give in one of the other sections.
12. Several people around me copied from my paper during the examination yet they received higher marks than I did. Surely this is not fair.
13. The reason I did not do better is because I am very honest. I do no wish to say anything against any other members of the class.
14. I know many of the class members who do not work as hard as I do an who got a better grade. I am recognized among my classmates as a good student - you just ask any one of them.
15. The question were ambiguous, and therefore, my answers should be graded according to the reasonable interpretations that I made of your questions.
16. Many of the questions could not be answered with straight facts; they were matters of opinion. I do not believe I should be penalize just because my opinions differ from those of the instructor.
17. I have studied this subject from the broad philosophical viewpoint and therefore, I was unable to answer your technical-based question
18. I am philosophically oriented to the realm of ideas; I respond to the sweep and scope of great intellects. My work is beyond the interest in petty details and parrot-like memorizing of those who are merely students
19. At the time of the exam, I was suffering from a severe case of cognitive dissonance and was incapable of coping with the stress of the hour.
20. It is not a higher mark I seek; I care nothing about marks; I think marks are wicked and I disapprove of them. However, this pernicious system of which I am a victim requires marks for achieving success and therefore, I seek a higher mark.
Thank you,
Name:
~~~~~~~
Cutting Class
"Jill," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose class you're cutting this time?"
"Like," the young teen replied, "uh, see, okay, like it's like I really don't like think like that's really important, y'know, like because I'm y'know, like I don't get anything out of it."
"It's English class, isn't it?" replied the smiling teacher.
~~~~~~~
Earth Science Class
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
~~~~~~~
Back to School - Teacher Jokes
Teachers and schools are great sources of fun! Here are some funny teacher jokes that'll have you laughing out loud!
Teacher: Why do you have so much trouble answering my questions?
Student: If it was easy for me, I wouldn't be in school!
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Student: 12! January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ...
Teacher: Johnny, which month has 28 days?
Student: Every month!
~~~~~~~
Back to School - Parent Jokes
Laughter is the best medicine! Release any first day of school worries with a few jokes. Practice them to tell your new buddies on the bus!
Mom: How did you find school today?
Kid: I simply hopped off the bus - and there it was!
Kid: I think we need a new teacher!
Mom: Why is that?
Kid: Our teacher doesn't know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers!
~~~~~~~
Guest Author - Victoria Abreo
Expired Image
