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Discussion in 'Online Casinos' started by johnsteed, Aug 18, 2006.

    Aug 18, 2006
  1. johnsteed

    johnsteed Ueber Meister

    Occupation:
    N/A
    Location:
    N/A
    ***


    Hello fellow forum members! :)


    I stumbled upon the "Cirrus casino alert" thread posted in "Casino Complaints - Non-Bonus Issues" section of the forum, and I couldn't help but think of some of most desperate no-deposit bonuses and promotions that I've come across. I'll run down a list a 6 bonuses/promotions that spring-to-mind.


    #1

    "MouNT OLYMPuS CaSiNo"​




    The great "MouNT OLYMPuS CaSiNo" offers a $20 no-deposit bonus, although that's not exactly true. On their promotions page, it states...


    "In order to Withdraw the No Deposit bonus, the player must wager a minimum of 30 times the bonus and make a successful deposit over $20 and complete the playthrough associated with that deposit. Wagers in Craps, Roulette, Baccarat, Sic bo and War do not count towards this wager requirement and Blackjack wagers count as 50% towards playthrough.

    The maximum cash-out on any new account free money bonus amount is $100.00. Your balance will be set to $0 after the withdrawal has been processed
    .
    "

    Gotta love no-deposit bonuses that require "successful" deposits. :thumbsup:


    View attachment 3387

    The benchmark of all slot games.


    Did a search on "Mexican Gold" (curious about the games title), all that came up was that Spanish explorers could never find any gold in Mexico. Mexico did host the '68 Summer Olympics, and they did in fact give away gold medals. :notworthy Even one of their very own won in the 200 meter swimming competition, but I've yet to hear of any gold in Mexico. Keep diggin', the slots will keep on spinnin'...


    Side Note: Even if I've never deposited at any casino that uses "Proprietary" software, I seem to have incredible luck with their BJ.


    #2

    "Golden Balls Casino & G-FED"​


    The great "GoldenBalls Casino" has managed to survive, as has a handful of G-FED casinos (I ALWAYS get G-FED spam, run off in 4-in-a-row whenever the weekend hits).


    In case you didn't know...


    "Golden Balls Online Casino offers more than 15 languages. It includes translations for all the games. We also offer customer support in your own language."


    Well "C-3PO" is fluent in over six million forms of communication, so I'm not so impressed by that! The only language (and I'm fluent en Francaise aussi) that I care about is ENGLISH, and you're not speaking the ENGLISH that I'm familiar with when you drop opening statements like this on your homepage... "Welcome to Golden Balls - Your favorite Online Gaming destination"


    Oh, it is is it? How about this line, "Sit back and relax! You are about to experience the class and luxury of the finest Internet Online Casino." Yes, you have all the time in the world to sit back and relax, wait for your payment, grow old, die, chose not to go into the light, and become one of the many ghosts who're wanting to haunt-the-hell out of the G-FED HQ.



    I can't wait to see this game show up in the "Winner Screenshots" thread. ​



    #3

    "Gold Key Casino"​



    My All-Time favorite bonus would have to go to the "Gold Key Casino" $2 no-deposit weekend bonus that I had used a number of times from '04-05. About the only thing worth playing on that one (and there aren't a whole lot of options considering it's ONLY $2) would be VP JoB at .05 cents per deal. While I was able to reach the $7.00 mark on it a number of times, that's as far as I could have gone. Oh boy, that game sure does a number on the eyes, squinting for a great length of time.


    "Gold Key Casino is one of the oldest and most reputable online casinos. Over 600 million games have been played since 1998 and billions of dollars have been paid out to winners. Gold Key Casino received brand new software and a complete facelift in 2003."

    View attachment 3384

    Using a "Mount Olympus" translator, "I was paid billions of dollars prior to the complete facelift. I haven't looked-back since."

    I guess "cyberspace" stretches out to other galaxies and beyond... We should really try to enforce a rule that other species cannot take away too much of our EARTH currencies away from us. This could be a problem in the future.


    #4

    "BRANDY votes & Online-Gambling-Forums.com"​



    There's a lot of responsibility that goes into any voting system - or so I'm told - and the one set-up for "BRANDY" is no exception. There has been a growing debate as to which online-gambling-related-site is second best to "Casinomeister.com", and while "GoneGambling" and "WinnerOnline" are right there, how about the infamous "Online-Gambling-Forums.com.com"?


    All you have to do is vote in 5-categories, and there you have it! Ethical-smethical. Just keep on votin' y'all! Oddly, I can't seem to put any connections between any of their notorious forum members, and the ones that come here.



    Here's a recent posting from Online Gambling/Forum Handle MEGA-GOD "Lionking32" who's made a grand total of 14 posts there (by going over the 2 posts barrier, that immediately pumps him up into the top 1% on the seniority list). It states...


    Why can't presidents and prime-ministers throw $5 my way when I'm making my vote?


    #5

    "CoolCatCasino & The FONZ"


    If I'm looking for a new kind of promotion, something that I can do "the twist" to, I look no further than "CoolCatCasino" (that's "CasinoChatFroid" in French).




    Now, while I'm impressed that they may (or likely have not...) have the rights to use the "HAPPY DAYS" TV show, what irks me about this promotion is that they've included "LAVERNE & SHIRLEY" which is a spin off, but have decided NOT to include "MORK & MINDY" (the other famous spin-off spawned from the "HAPPY DAYS" sitcom). Is that morally right? Why couldn't they give "Big Al's" Wednesdays, "Joanie & Chachi" Saturdays, "Ralph Malph" & "Potsie Weber" could rotate every Monday, and have Jonathan Winters (reprising his role as "Mearth") come out of an egg to give the player a surprise bonus.


    On another note, I guess all the directors that have come out of the "HAPPY DAYS" sitcoms need a way to fund their upcoming projects. :confused:


    #6

    "Sunset Casino & GENEROSITY"​



    Finally, if you're feeling really lucky, give BossMedia's "Sunset Casino" a shot. They're throwing a $1 no-deposit bonus to all new players (ditto sister casino "Jackpot Palace Casino". Sweet! And they use my personal favorite banking system, "WebDollar". And the playthrough on that $1 - in case you were wondering is x 20, and the maximum you can withdraw is $200. How you manage to playthrough 20 dollars off of $1 is the beauty of the miracle. :notworthy


    Steed

    ***
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2006
    9 people like this.
  2. Aug 18, 2006
  3. Pinababy69

    Pinababy69 RIP Lisa

    Occupation:
    Crusader
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario - Canada
    LMAO Mr. Steed, that's a priceless list. And when I was a newbie all those years ago, I think I've played them all, save the G-Fed ones.

    One minor point you overlooked about the Gold Key, etc. weekend lucky bucks (and two bucks), was that if you did manage to get lucky and build it up to something even worth cashing out....max cashout on the free chips was the value of the chip itself. Ha ha ha.....cashing out a buck or two, can you even do that?

    This could be a fun thread JS!! :thumbsup:
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Aug 18, 2006
  5. Casinomeister

    Casinomeister Forum Cheermeister Staff Member

    Occupation:
    Homemaker
    Location:
    Bierland
    :lolup: I'll be back later when I've stopped laughing so hard. Thanks dude!
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. Aug 18, 2006
  7. NoMouthToScream

    NoMouthToScream Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    Employed
    Location:
    USA
    :lolup:

    "CoolCatCasino & The FONZ"

    Priceless.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Aug 18, 2006
  9. johnsteed

    johnsteed Ueber Meister

    Occupation:
    N/A
    Location:
    N/A
    ***


    Pinababy69




    Hahaha, I forgot about the max cash-out part. Although, it was either a maximum up to the value of the free chip (as you said), or a cap of $5! I don't think they're offering it anymore, but I could be wrong, or better yet, I don't want to check. To think that I had nothing better to do on a Sunday back in '04, but to wait to see if they changed the coupon code. :oops:

    I'm not even sure that NeTeller would accept such a low transaction, even a couple of years ago. If you were once able to, I'd love to see the NETPoints accumulated on that sucker. With any coupon that I'd played with, if I couldn't get to at least $50, I wasn't going to bother with any cash-out.

    ***

    NoMouthToScream



    While both names would be considered jokes, it's for different reasons. Whenever I hear the name "The FONZ", it triggers an instant reaction of laughter. When I think of "CoolCatCasino", I think that it's just a joke... but there's nothing funny about it. :rolleyes:


    Steed

    ***
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2006
  10. Aug 18, 2006
  11. sripal32

    sripal32 Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Network Engg
    Location:
    UK
    Good post John! :notworthy


    You should be in India - for whatever elections we have (and we have plenty of them, local council, district counsil, state elections, nation wide etc etc) people are employed to vote for money + food + drinks for a day or two ;) and this is before you vote, you can go and vote who ever you like. :p
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. Aug 18, 2006
  13. tennis_balls

    tennis_balls Dormant account

    Occupation:
    fish n chips promoter
    Location:
    Albuquerque, NM
    no gold in Mexico?

    Acapulco Gold was quite popular in the late 70s. (so I'm told.)

    BTW Is that a pic of an alien or a Man Utd supporter after a rough loss?
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2006
    1 person likes this.
  14. Aug 18, 2006
  15. tencardcharlie

    tencardcharlie Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Bureaucrat
    Location:
    The playboy mansion.
    Classic post, Steed!


    Yes, this is absolutely true. I remember seeing some testimonials from there:

    User name: Kang
    "This is the only casino I know of that accepts withdrawals to Uranus Express. Great work!"

    User name: Knicksfan
    "Hit a royal flush on your casino, I did. Paid out promptly, I was. Recommend you to all of my friends, I will."

    User name: Alf
    "This casino is almost as good as coolcat... HAHAHAAA!"
     
    1 person likes this.
  16. Aug 18, 2006
  17. soflat

    soflat Senior Member

    Occupation:
    Scientist
    Location:
    Florida
    Did you forget the "Joanie Loves Cachi" spinoff, or was that not famous enough?

    Cool Cat Casino? Where's Pinky Tuscadero? She was the coolest, and they don't even show her.
     
    1 person likes this.
  18. Aug 18, 2006
  19. ballysdb

    ballysdb Dormant account

    Occupation:
    automotive biller
    Location:
    Long Island NY
    Great Thread! Before I was "educated" by this forum I found noluckneeded.com. I don't know if it is improper to talk about another website but I will. They give you links to all these "GREAT" casinos and the "GENEROUS" bonuses they offer. There is a poster named TDTAT who must be an affiliate of these sites because she posts nearly every thread. (I'm not knocking affiliates, I'm not even sure how that works) Some of her great picks are the ones who are rouged on this forum. Yes, it is a good place to find some no deposit bonuses but if you are not educated you would think these casinos are actually a good choice. Some people post that they made the deposit and did not get the free money, or they did not realize that they could only cash out $10. I am so glad I found this very informative site called Casinomeiter!:thumbsup:
     
    1 person likes this.
  20. Aug 18, 2006
  21. ballysdb

    ballysdb Dormant account

    Occupation:
    automotive biller
    Location:
    Long Island NY
    OOps! I mean CasinomeiSter!:oops:
     
  22. Aug 18, 2006
  23. liquidsoap

    liquidsoap Dormant account

    Occupation:
    my self
    Location:
    home
    :lolup: :lolup:
    :lolup: :lolup: I dont think I ever laughed that hard in my life about an online casino.
    Dont forget about the no deposit bonuses that are for entertainment purposes only and may not be cashed out.
     
    1 person likes this.
  24. Aug 18, 2006
  25. chuchu59

    chuchu59 gambling addict CAG PABnonaccred

    Occupation:
    EXECUTIVE
    Location:
    SOMEWHERE IN ASIA
    Great stuff, Johnsteed.

    Gold Key - I doubt whether neteller will process $5 so the player will need to deposit $20 to get that $5. Just guess what happens then?

    Brandy - I cant recall the exact amount but to make a successful withdrawal, you needed to reach a balance in excess of something in the region of $20,000. You are not allowed to play progressives so the only possibility of reaching this is by playing VP and hope you get a RF when playing at $25 per game.
     
    1 person likes this.
  26. Aug 19, 2006
  27. frufrugirl

    frufrugirl Senior Member

    Occupation:
    retired
    Location:
    NorthWest USA
    How about "Golden Spur"...currently offering $50 no deposit...40 wr..all the usual games that dont count except 50% blackjack 80x..ouch! Oh then to withdraw (if forgot the max but there is one)..you have to deposit $100 and wager the requirments successfully (meaning you have to take the new sign on bonus if you want to cash out)..hmmm dont think so...:)
     
    2 people like this.
  28. Aug 19, 2006
  29. umberto

    umberto Dormant account

    Hey frufrugirl.

    You are right. These guys are complete idiots... Or the players that play there... You choose... The guy who designed the promotions should be promoted to the highest position in the company. Here is the email I sent them today. Read it to understand what their bonus is about... I think that after the email I sent them they changed a little the terms. Of course they haven't answered to me yet...

    ***********************
    Hi there.

    I m not a player in your casino. I planned to register though untill I read your
    terms which made me worry more that ever. So, you offer a 50$ no deposit bonus
    which must be wagered 40 times. I understand this. Then in order for the money
    to be withdrewn a player has to deposit more than 100$ of his own money and
    receive ( without being able to deny it ) a bonus of 50% of his deposit and
    more than that meet the new wagering requirements. And the most sarcastic part
    of the offer is that the maximun cashout has a maximum value of 200$ (????). Is
    this the right thing? Have I understood correcly? So, If i play with the 50$
    bonus and reach my balance to 150$, I have to deposit 100$ more and receive the
    deposit bonus and meet the wagering requirements and be only able to withdraw
    200???? That is : balance before deposit 150$ and balance AFTER 100$ deposit
    250$ BUT MAXIMUM CASHOUT 200$????? Are you guys healthy in your minds? Who
    designed this fantastic promotion?? I really wanted to try you but with what I
    saw I do not thing I ll do so.... Unless I misunderstood your terms. I wait for
    an answer.

    Regards.
    ******************
     

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