A Few One Liners

weesie

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Aug 26, 2010
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Old bag lady with a laptop
The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would 'hate' to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
Identify their corporate sponsors."

"You know why a banana is like a politician?"
"He comes in and first he is green, Then he turns yellow And then he's rotten."

The latest survey shows that Three out of four people make Up 75% of the population

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

Alabama state motto: At least we're not Mississippi

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge To produce reproductive organs.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers Give the rest a bad name.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Don't Drink and Drive. You might hit a bump and spill something.

Money isn't everything, But it sure keeps the kids in touch.

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES USE BIRTH CONTROL

When blondes have more fun,do they know it?

A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party

The original point and click interface Was a Smith & Wesson.

We have enough "youth". How about a fountain of "smart"

You are not drunk If you can lie on the floor Without holding on.

It's not whether you win or lose, But how you place the blame.
 
'Put my hoover up for sale as it was just collecting dust'

'Actors who can cure my lisp? I’m pretty sure Anne Hathaway but I’m going to ask Colin Firth'

'The referendum on Brexit was like asking your husband if he wanted a threesome for his 40th. He was supposed to say no but he didn’t. And now everyone’s really miserable.'


Taken from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and a few more here for anyone who likes the simple ones like me (simple emoji face).

See - The Mirror is good for some things, just not news.

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