A farewell from a compulsive gambler to his friends here.

Steve,

Your one hell of a man!!! It takes a lot to admit you have an addiction/problem and you are not just admitting it, you are now ready to fight it. Not only did you realize that you have gone to far, but you have also seen that your family needs you more. What a brave man you are.

I truely wish you all the success in the world, but to be 100% honest with you, you have already won, you have come to realize nothing is more important than the ones you love. Your family is blessed to have you and you are going to be just fine. When you have the urge to play again, just look at your family, and you will see that urge just go away.

Good luck to you and from one CM member to another, WTG!!! Your success has just begun!!

All the best,
Lori
 
Best of luck for the future!:thumbsup:

It's never easy admitting you have a problem by breaking through the denial you have built up in your mind!
The step you have taken is a big one and hopefully you will look back on it in the future as a poor choice made by a different man than the one you see in front of you!:thumbsup:

I wish you the sincerest best luck! :D:notworthy


Cheers
Gremmy
 
Dear Steve,

First of all I want to offer you (((HUGS))). Your sadness and despair come through clearly in what you have written. Stay strong my friend. I am wishing you great success and hope you can be in touch via "the attic" forum. Take one day at a time, don't mentally beat yourself, have patience and use every distraction you can think of to avoid the temptation. If you should feel tempted at any time, Simmo suggested Gamblock. It does work!

Much love sent your way, and prayers for your successful recovery.

Christine
 
I'm very proud of you!

From personal experience with an addiction, I would like to say that after the initial "withdrawal" phase, you'll find much more fulfilling things to do with your time and money and after a while, you'll look back and wonder how something could have ever had so much power over you. And you will smile! :)

Good luck!
 
Steve,

You have made that very important first step. I wish you all the best. I was in a very very similar situation and I'll be two years "clean" come June 1st. It's difficult to say the least, but if I can do it then anyone probably can.

C
 
It's always difficult for me to respond to these threads.

I've had my problems in the past, and I'm aware I'm at risk every time I gamble. Somedays more so that others. I've opted for a harm reduction strategy personally, limiting my ability to spend more gambling than I have to gamble. Only gamblers understand when I say it's worse when you are winning.

I hope you seek some help beyond just quitting. Addiction is a complex beast.

It's not only the money sometimes, but the time.

For me, online gambling offers less of the addictive nature I found in real time gambling. But it's addictive enough, I could be out in the bar hoping for a pick-up on Friday nights instead. Church choir rehearsal is out since I can't sing.

The thing about gambling, it's not about money. If it was about money, we just wouldn't gamble.

Link Removed (invalid URL)

This book gave me more insight into gambling than anything else I've read.

Knowledge is power.

I wish you well, and I'll miss your contributions here.
 
I wish you all the best and my sincere wishes for strength in repairing what is broken.
 
I have been gambling in landed casino's for a long time. Yes I am an addict. Then recently I had my first child and that put a stop to landed casinos. Horror of horrors, I discovered online casinos.

I now spend almost every waking minute staring at my computer screen. I dont speak to my wife as much as I used to and I don't play with my child as much as I should.

Things have gotten very bad.

I earn quite a bit of money so the money isnt a problem. To be honest my loses to date aren't even significant when compared to my income. And I also know its not about the money because when I have a bad run, I switch to low gear and bet pennies. And that still gives me a high. So gambling is never about the money and as such, it is very hard to beat because even if you win a lot, you'll never get satisfied. It's not about the money.

Damn it.
 
Sorry to T/J Steve

I have been gambling in landed casino's for a long time. Yes I am an addict. Then recently I had my first child and that put a stop to landed casinos. Horror of horrors, I discovered online casinos.

I now spend almost every waking minute staring at my computer screen. I dont speak to my wife as much as I used to and I don't play with my child as much as I should.

Things have gotten very bad.

I earn quite a bit of money so the money isnt a problem. To be honest my loses to date aren't even significant when compared to my income. And I also know its not about the money because when I have a bad run, I switch to low gear and bet pennies. And that still gives me a high. So gambling is never about the money and as such, it is very hard to beat because even if you win a lot, you'll never get satisfied. It's not about the money.

Damn it.

Hi Beachball & Welcome to the forum. I saw on your profile that you are a new member here. Your post touched me and I hope that you are not in a dark place, so to speak.

I gather from what you have written in this thread that you are not happy with the impact your gambling has had in your personal life. Obviously this is a form of escape/distraction for you. You made the statement "it's not about the money". You sir, are a rare breed, for many gambling addicts have to hit rock bottom (financially insolvent) before facing reality. I am concerned for you because eventually you will hit a wall, whether it be financially, ostracising your family & friends, isolating yourself to such a point that you cannot deal with realities.

I suggest that maybe you talk to a professional to determine exactly what IT is about. Communication with your spouse is imperative. Making the statement that things have gotten very bad, you need to take action. The first step will be the hardest, but if you have the determination, the following steps will get easier.

Hope you can come to peace with your dilemna and wishing you well. Hoping Steve, who started this post, has you as a partner in his journey.

Sincerely,
Christine
 
Good for you, Steve! Way to stand up and take care of business!

We have a family member right now who is in the grips of gambling addiction, but refuses to see it. She plays strictly land-based because she has no Internet or technical savvy whatsoever, but she is in the process of ruining her future.

It's too bad everyone isn't willing to take a hard look at themselves like you did and take the right steps. Even though you allowed yourself to get pulled down, you have every reason to be proud that you are yanking yourself out of the pit!
 
I have been gambling in landed casino's for a long time. Yes I am an addict. Then recently I had my first child and that put a stop to landed casinos. Horror of horrors, I discovered online casinos.

I now spend almost every waking minute staring at my computer screen. I dont speak to my wife as much as I used to and I don't play with my child as much as I should.

Things have gotten very bad.

I earn quite a bit of money so the money isnt a problem. To be honest my loses to date aren't even significant when compared to my income. And I also know its not about the money because when I have a bad run, I switch to low gear and bet pennies. And that still gives me a high. So gambling is never about the money and as such, it is very hard to beat because even if you win a lot, you'll never get satisfied. It's not about the money.

Damn it.

This, to me, is truly heartbreaking.
Money is one thing ... your family is a totally different one.
Please, please seek some help mate, as losing your family to gambling is the ultimate loss. It won't get any worse than that, and it seens to me, that you know you're heading in that direction. You need to act on your thoughts, rather today than tomorrow.
I wish both you, and Steve all the best, and sincerely hope you'll get out of this, in the best possible way.
 
Like so many have said, you are very courageous. Being so open and upfront about it is admirable.
One thing I have read about addiction comes to mind. When you're trying to quit something and establish a new routine/behavior, they say the toughest time is the first two weeks. It's like a transition period when the brain rewires.
I wish you all the best in your gambling-free life.

Take care :)
emme
 
I totally understand where you are coming from Steve, I wish you all the best for the future, take care Steve x
 
I have been gambling in landed casino's for a long time. Yes I am an addict. Then recently I had my first child and that put a stop to landed casinos. Horror of horrors, I discovered online casinos.

I now spend almost every waking minute staring at my computer screen. I dont speak to my wife as much as I used to and I don't play with my child as much as I should.

Things have gotten very bad.

I earn quite a bit of money so the money isnt a problem. To be honest my loses to date aren't even significant when compared to my income. And I also know its not about the money because when I have a bad run, I switch to low gear and bet pennies. And that still gives me a high. So gambling is never about the money and as such, it is very hard to beat because even if you win a lot, you'll never get satisfied. It's not about the money.

Damn it.

You have to be reasonable about the time you spend gambling, life with your children is precious time (they do grow up), I have 3 children, I spend lots of time with them, I only play when they are either at school or in bed, if I do play when they are here,I limit the time I play, I only play for 30mins to 1 hour and this is only once a week.

Yes gambling is a curse when it is on the brink of ruining your life and wrecking your head, you have to ask yourself which is more entertaining, which memories do you want to have when your child grows up, staring at a screen playing slots or enjoying all the moments with your child, I know which I would choose, I hope this helps you :)
 
Like so many have said, you are very courageous. Being so open and upfront about it is admirable.
One thing I have read about addiction comes to mind. When you're trying to quit something and establish a new routine/behavior, they say the toughest time is the first two weeks. It's like a transition period when the brain rewires.
I wish you all the best in your gambling-free life.

Take care :)
emme

I'm feeling better already. I've actually begun reading a book and watched a couple movies. These are some things I haven't done for ages. I know there is a better life and I'm in hot pursuit of it. I'm what is known as a "poly addicted" person, meaning I smoke, drink and have a few vices. No real drugs, thank God, although Alcohol is a drug and so is nicotine. My goal is to beat all of them...in time. I must beat one dragon at a time, as I don't know if I could maintain composure while trying to drop them all at the same time. I owe a lot of thanks to all the people who are being supportive of me. I really thank all of you and there are many!
 
It's good you realized the bad situation you are in and are taking steps to stop it. Been there, done that - took several years off from online gambling because of addictive and destructive play.

If you need help, get it. Lots of resources out there and plenty of people that can relate. And even though the phrase is said billions of times, take one day at a time. Can you get through today without gambling (or fill in whatever else is a problem)? It's much easier if you look at it more on a 24 hour basis than saying the words never again. Worked for me.

Anyways, I've enjoyed your past posts. Here's to a more positive future.:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
 
Have a great new life!

Wish you every success in beating your addiction= admitting it is one of the hardest things to do and you have done that well acknowledging your responsibility.

Hope you can now get hooked on the pleasures of family and friends. Keep string, use every tool offered to you= (its damn hard)= Can I recommend gamblock= yes there are a few problems in that you will first have to clean your cache and banking so it doesn't block them but it works well and you won't be able to even read about gambling or access any online gambling sites= makes life a bit easier when you get the urge or think just a little play as it will shut down your computer if you try!

Will miss your comments but I really hope never to hear from you again on this board (meant in the nicest possible way)

Cheers and Goodbye
Colly
 
Good luck now you made the decision. While not addicted I can see how easy it would be to become so if my last barrier of self-control was missing. I probably spend too much time rather than spare money. I can only say one thing with certainty - if successful in the future you'll only look back and measure your losses in cash which will merely annoy you and which can be replaced and you must accept that money is lost - right now. Your friends and family can't be. Lose them and those losses won't merely annoy you, they'll destroy you. From your post that is a major reason behind your decision. The longest journey starts with the first step, and you'll walk faster if not looking over your shoulder. Have a safe journey.

A good source (and rather ashamedly I admit reading this to stop me ever getting near that stage) is the gamcare.org.uk forum. There are many others sharing your journey and from far worse starting positions.

The people on here aren't really your friends (no disrespect intended to those posters but I think you'll forgive me in the context of the thread) but those people physically present in your everday life are. They are the ones you refer to when you said you let things go because of gambling. I would surmise that there are many members here addicted, many in your situation or on their way there. Remember it's not occasional players which fund the gaming industry, like the extra punters in the bookies on Grand National day (a mere bonus), but regular players and a big proportion of those can't stop or couldn't if they tried to.

That is one reason why I personally wouldn't recommend you coming back here, even on the excluded/non-players? part of the forum mentioned here in a another post. Before other posters jump on me for saying this, please understand that he must ditch and avoid in future as many things as he can associated with his (now over) old gambling and addiction days. If you were land based addicted I'd say avoid the people you used to gamble with in casinos etc. to give you more chance on your journey. The same goes for us lot here. The wise ones here will understand that and not feel affronted. You owe us nothing.

You aren't going to be that rheumy-eyed unshaved shambles of a man shuffling out of the bookies in his £4 supermarket plimsolls, an inch of dead roll-up stuck to his lip while he slogs back to his bedsit all hope and life sucked from him, to wait for his next DSS cheque. You aren't going to be that numb and gutted person staring into space with glazed eyes having just added thousands to a credit card for a few hours of escapism on his PC and just wanting to curl up for days and not communicate or socialise. That's because you are stronger, and have to be because your children look up to you and you are head of the family and owe them and not anyone else. Worth far more than a few hours on the slots or cards or wheel. Always keep that in mind and you'll be walking on flagstones in shoes and not sharp gravel in socks.

All the best mate - you can do it.:)
 
The people on here aren't really your friends (no disrespect intended to those posters but I think you'll forgive me in the context of the thread) but those people physically present in your everday life are. They are the ones you refer to when you said you let things go because of gambling. I would surmise that there are many members here addicted, many in your situation or on their way there. Remember it's not occasional players which fund the gaming industry, like the extra punters in the bookies on Grand National day (a mere bonus), but regular players and a big proportion of those can't stop or couldn't if they tried to.


I know where your coming from but cant totally agree with that statement. Just because a friend is an online friend doesn't necessarily mean they are not a real friend. I used to talk to a guy online only for like 2 years, before we met in reality, and he is still my friend to this day. We met like 7 years ago. So yes, friends in the real world are important but some friends in the virtual can also be equally important. Just saying:p

That is one reason why I personally wouldn't recommend you coming back here, even on the excluded/non-players? part of the forum mentioned here in a another post. Before other posters jump on me for saying this, please understand that he must ditch and avoid in future as many things as he can associated with his (now over) old gambling and addiction days. If you were land based addicted I'd say avoid the people you used to gamble with in casinos etc. to give you more chance on your journey. The same goes for us lot here. The wise ones here will understand that and not feel affronted. You owe us nothing.


I have to agree with that part. I am here because I am a gambler and I am addicted and this forum does ease my itch between pay days. If I wanted to give up gambling, I would also give up this forum because anything associated with gambling would just bring the urges back.

Unfortunately I don't want to give up gambling and I am not strong enough to throw in that addiction yet.:oops:

Good for you takethemoney for stepping up to the line!:thumbsup:
 

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