*&&%$$£*&^%!!!!!!!!!!!

[vinylweatherman]

&&^%£"&^(*)&^%£$£££££

 

[jod5413]

OK, I think I get that you are very, very mad. May I ask why? The pretty little baby couldn't be the reason, she is such a cutie! I'll bet she could get away with anything as long as she smiled at you. No?

 

[oldtrvlagt]

She is Adorable!!! And, I've never seen you that mad...did she eat your passwords?

 

[Mavin1]

Did she use your credit card at an online casino, while you were out and lost a diaper load of moolah??????
Or is her first words cuss words/colorful language from listening to someone having a losing session?????

Oh oh, whats that shredded piece of paper in her playpen? Was it important????

 

[just play]

Awwwwwwwwwww...look at those big gorgeous eyes!!!

 

[skiny]

The picture has obviously been cropped. She probably grabbed his mustache and decided she didn't feel like standing anymore.

 

[kakata]

lets hope nothing really bad happened...

 

[vinylweatherman]

Everybody else goes out to the cinema, including Mum & dad, and I am left to feed cute baby.

Baby fed, but out it comes the other end

Mum & dad not due back for a couple of hours, and baby smelling like a bonus offer from Cool Cat casino, so off with the potty training pants, and the offending item was clearly visible, but not in the correct place, which so far has been a push-cart, and a ground level netball hoop.

Now the task is to find where mummy has HIDDEN ALL THE BABY STUFF, whilst at the same time ensure there is NO sitting down, scratching, climbing on sofa, etc.

Search abandoned, and baby carried at arms length to bathtub & plonked in it. Much cleaning with many aloe vera wipes, followed by bubble bath in water AT CORRECT TEMPERATURE (checked with elbow, and baby SLOWLY lowered in for those ladies agog with horror at what might have happened here!). 2006 world cup rubber duck follows, and so does jug, flannel, and a thwarted attempt at a cleaning sponge unsuitable for baby washing.

Baby played with (bubbles) and thorougly cleaned till smelling like an advert for 32Red casino, then removed. Proper diaper (nappy) added, (Pampers, as it happens), followed by yesterday's slightly soiled dress (temporary measure).

Baby returned to living room till knackered, and thence to cot with Gloworm toy & juice drink (not that she deserved it).

Mum & dad back, and were told THEY were doing washing up because I had cleaned their damn baby. They then subcontracted washing up to accompanying friend. Baby woken, and diaper application marked out of 10 (pretty good, but could have been tighter). Pyjamas applied, and returned to cot.

I SWEAR she saved a whole days worth of poop for me for the 3 hours I was in charge, because mum said none had been produced all day.

I have her the WHOLE DAY on Thursday if their plan to go to a theme park goes ahead.

Does anyone know where I can get some large corks:icon_twis

 

[cpdnd31]

um just so you know juice will help produce that big pile of smelly gunk better known as rival. So maybe thats why oh so cute baby (yes want to kiss checks and make all those baby sounds since mine are past that) may have saved up and gave you one big dump. lol let me know what days your available i got a ten year old that i still argue with to take a shower lol

 

[jod5413]

Good Gawd VWM, that ain't nothing! Wait till you are watching her and she gets an upset tummy and projectile vomits clear across the room, probably after having eaten a nice bright green veggie for lunch along with maybe pureed beef and grape juice or milk, and tapioca or red jello for dessert. Other than the very start, where she manages to spew all over you from head to toes, the rest hits the walls, and any and all upholstered furniture in the room! Suck it up, Fella! Be a man!

 

[skiny]

Be thankful that it's a she and not a he. Because a bouncing baby boy would fill the little diaper with a day's worth of baby poo and still managed to not pee a drop until you took the diaper off. I have no idea what it is about baby boys and an open diaper that turns them into a park fountain. By the time my son was out of diapers I just figured he held it all day wondering if today was the day he'd finally hit the ceiling. I should have just slapped some wings on his back and stuck him in the front yard on a pedestal. On the upside I did learn to put a diaper on with one hand while holding a garbage can lid with the other for a shield.

 

[jod5413]

I hear you, Skiny!

I had both a girl and then a boy 14 years later. (It took me that long to forget how tiring it was.) Potty training is never easy, but I finally convinced my cute little daughter that using the potty rather than diapers, which when loaded sag like the devil and kept tripping her when she tried to move, was a much better choice. Other than the fact that I had to make her understand that her painting on the wall with her personal leavings was not such a swell game, it went just wonderfully!

My son, what can I say? From day one he thought it was the very best game in the world to aim for me when removing his diaper (I do believe he saved his "tinkle" up for this marvelous game), whether to change him or to take off to give a bath.

I might as well have painted a target on my forehead (like a dart board) and his aim became extremely good after so much practice. Little turkeys, both of them. Yep, being a Mom is heaven, in spite of their ornery natures.

 

[oldtrvlagt]

OMG...that's all you've got I concur with Skiny & Jod... baby boys seem to have perfect aim ONLY when wearing diapers and you are changing them! Thank goodness I wore glasses or I would be blind by now....the funny thing is they need practice to actually hit the toilet but Mom in the face is a perfect bullseye

Good luck on Thursday

 

[ksech]

Yep, been there and done that with my soon too! I constantly have to tell my youngest grandson to pay attention, otherwise he'd hit EVERYTHING in the bathroom except the toilet.
VMW, remember...no juice and no fruits...both make the other end really gooey and smelly. You could be mean and fill her up with cookies and juice right before her parents come to pick her up .
Hopefully, you won't have any "disasters" and you will fully ENJOY the day with her.

 

[kauphy]

She is Adorable!!! And, I've never seen you that mad...did she eat your passwords?

 

[kauphy]

Everybody else goes out to the cinema, including Mum & dad, and I am left to feed cute baby.

Baby fed, but out it comes the other end

Mum & dad not due back for a couple of hours, and baby smelling like a bonus offer from Cool Cat casino, so off with the potty training pants, and the offending item was clearly visible, but not in the correct place, which so far has been a push-cart, and a ground level netball hoop.

Now the task is to find where mummy has HIDDEN ALL THE BABY STUFF, whilst at the same time ensure there is NO sitting down, scratching, climbing on sofa, etc.

Search abandoned, and baby carried at arms length to bathtub & plonked in it. Much cleaning with many aloe vera wipes, followed by bubble bath in water AT CORRECT TEMPERATURE (checked with elbow, and baby SLOWLY lowered in for those ladies agog with horror at what might have happened here!). 2006 world cup rubber duck follows, and so does jug, flannel, and a thwarted attempt at a cleaning sponge unsuitable for baby washing.

Baby played with (bubbles) and thorougly cleaned till smelling like an advert for 32Red casino, then removed. Proper diaper (nappy) added, (Pampers, as it happens), followed by yesterday's slightly soiled dress (temporary measure).

Baby returned to living room till knackered, and thence to cot with Gloworm toy & juice drink (not that she deserved it).

Mum & dad back, and were told THEY were doing washing up because I had cleaned their damn baby. They then subcontracted washing up to accompanying friend. Baby woken, and diaper application marked out of 10 (pretty good, but could have been tighter). Pyjamas applied, and returned to cot.

I SWEAR she saved a whole days worth of poop for me for the 3 hours I was in charge, because mum said none had been produced all day.

I have her the WHOLE DAY on Thursday if their plan to go to a theme park goes ahead.

Does anyone know where I can get some large corks:icon_twis

rotflmao again and again you just made my week lol.

 

[kauphy]

i know my 2 year old save it for me caz when i take his diaper off i see his face change and he looks like his thinking very hard and then he,ll start to push and boom i have to duck. he laughs like hell and so does his 4 year old sister. but got to love the little bugger.

 

[Mark_32Red (retired acct)]

...Baby played with (bubbles) and thorougly cleaned till smelling like an advert for 32Red casino, then removed. Proper diaper (nappy) added, (Pampers, as it happens), followed by yesterday's slightly soiled dress (temporary measure).

She smelt like a monkey VWM?

 

[vinylweatherman]

She smelt like a monkey VWM?

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No not that one!, the earlier HONEST ones

She had better not monkey around with my PC when she gets older

 

[vinylweatherman]

Yep, been there and done that with my soon too! I constantly have to tell my youngest grandson to pay attention, otherwise he'd hit EVERYTHING in the bathroom except the toilet.
VMW, remember...no juice and no fruits...both make the other end really gooey and smelly. You could be mean and fill her up with cookies and juice right before her parents come to pick her up .
Hopefully, you won't have any "disasters" and you will fully ENJOY the day with her.

WHAT!!!!!

 

[kakata]

Good Gawd VWM, that ain't nothing! Wait till you are watching her and she gets an upset tummy and projectile vomits clear across the room, probably after having eaten a nice bright green veggie for lunch along with maybe pureed beef and grape juice or milk, and tapioca or red jello for dessert. Other than the very start, where she manages to spew all over you from head to toes, the rest hits the walls, and any and all upholstered furniture in the room! Suck it up, Fella! Be a man!

....thats not a baby....is a Doomsday....

 

[incrediblestuff]

lol vwm and skiny: men with babies are hilarious ^^

 

[ksech]

eerrrrrr VWM, you coud always teach her to blow "raspberries" at the screen when you don't hit...BUT then you will be wiping who knows what off your monitor....

 

[vinylweatherman]

Well, that night she kept mummy & daddy up till 3:20 am

Today she has been good. One interim poop service & 2 wee changes, but one gold star performance in potty Her first ever!

Have to remember to fill her up with fruit & juice in time for Mummy's return this evening:baby:

 

[ksech]

OMG! LAUGHING!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing this, YOU have given me laughter when I needed it most!