Boardroom setting somewhere on the Internet:
Big Casino Bossman: “So, Joe – what do you have for us as a new casino name – we really want to get this thing going! We need to make dem monies!!”
Creative Consultant Joe: “I’ve got the perfect name, boss. Picture this…a casino that is a mystery – in fact there is no name – it’s a casino without a name because…”
Insert drum-roll here.
“…it’s anonymous!! Anonymous Casino! Get it?! It is totally anonymous – and we can stay anonymous too! The players will never have a clue as to who we are and what we do. Same goes with the cops and the tax man. It’s like being invisible – we’re ‘anonymous’!”
Big Casino Bossman: “That’s brilliant, Joe!! Why didn’t I think of this myself? Amazingly thought out, Joe! A casino – with no name – Anonymous Casino. Wow! Bust open the good Scotch!”
Creative Consultant Joe: “Sure thing, boss. But I have another one!”
Big Casino Bossman: “What? There’s more?” (visibly gulps).
Creative Consultant Joe: “Yes, here is – I have one that will make your head spin. Are you ready?”
Big Casino Bossman: “Of course, Joe. Lay it on me!”
Creative Consultant Joe: “It’s…..wait for it… it’s ‘Bet Cave’!”
Big Casino Bossman: “‘Bet Cave’!? Like betting in a CAVE?”
Creative Consultant Joe: “Yes, boss – like betting in a sunless, drippy, dank and freezing cold cave!! With sticks and rocks, moldy animal pelts, and sightless rodents squeaking around in the dark!!”
Big Casino Bossman: “You’re a genius, Joe! We’re gonna be rich!!”
Creative Consultant Joe: “Well, actually, boss. I was saving best for last.”
Big Casino Bossman: “Whaaa? You’ve got to be kidding me! There’s another?”
Creative Consultant Joe: “I am not here to disappoint.”
Joe pauses, scans the room to the left and right – takes another toke off of the spliff – hands it back to the bossman.
Creative Consultant Joe: (holding his breath the best he can) “It’s a killer name, boss.” *cough*
Bossman just stares back at him – takes a drag.
Creative Consultant Joe: Exhales – “It’s ‘Royal Blood Casino’.”
Bossman – tries to hold it in – struggles – chokes – forcibly coughs out a massive waif of smoke – it fills the room.
Big Casino Bossman: Gasping – “You are freaking amazing,” half coughing the words “Hopefully we will be launching in tandem with ‘The Crown’.”
Creative Consultant Joe: “That’s the royal idea.”
Big Casino Bossman is chuffed. He smiles, wraps his arm around Joe’s shoulders, and they retire to the lounge with their weed and scotch. And that’s how creative decisions are made in the world of online casinos.
Stupidest Name Casino Historical Awards
I have always been a proponent of creativity, and feel that naming one’s business is a crucial decision making process. I also find great humor in the idiotic and downright stupid names that some folks have come up with when launching their business, I know, I know, this is entirely subjective to one’s own taste, but these names are stupid and someone has to write about it. And that person is yours truly – me.
Stupidest Named Casinos of 2019 Casino Casino/Syndicate Casino
Stupidest Named Casinos of 2018 Cozyno
Stupidest Named Casinos of 2017 Ramses Gold, Burnbet, Smashing Casino
Stupidest Named Casinos of 2016 Bumbet, Ares Casino, Play7777, MrRingo, Pornhub
Stupidest Named Casinos of 2015 A bunch of ’em
Stupidest Named Casinos of 2014 – ToBwin/Buck and Butler/Llama casino
Stupidest Named Casinos of 2013 – WinTrillionsCasino/TrendCasino/LuckyPantsBingo
Stupidest Named Casino of 2012 – Loco Panda/Loco Jungle
Stupidest Named Casino of 2011 – iButlerCasino
Stupidest Named Casino of 2010 – Majestic Comet Casino/Yes We Can Casino
Stupidest Named Casino of 2009 – Mayflower Casino
Stupidest Named Casino of 2008 – Ministering Angel Casino
Stupidest Named Casino of 2007 – Simon Says Casino
Stupidest Named Casino of 2006 – XXL Club Casino