frosty3907
Non-Gambler
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2012
- Location
- Australia
As so many have said before including myself "That's it, I'm done."
Gambling had consumed my life from 18-32 - my life has centered around it and suffered, I don't find joy in anything else except my wonderful partner who has had to put up with my idiocy for five years now.
I don't know why I feel this time is different, but when I woke up this morning instead of feeling desperation and dread I felt relief, that for some reason I didn't have to do this anymore. I know I have typed similar things to this before and believed them, I know the urge will return in spades and all the old excuses will crop up again, my brain crying out for stimulation.
But you know what I'm going to do? Not gamble.
I'll try and read a book but be too distracted so I'll end up just sitting in a chair or laying in bed.
Two or three months will pass, as they have before (once or twice) and I still won't feel better, I'll wonder if I ever will, maybe I won't. But I'll still pick up a book or half watch a movie. Anything but gambling, I can't stand to see those reels spinning anymore, it makes me sick.
I wish you all the best, especially those who, like me, are in denial about what gambling is doing to you, I hope you come to a realization long before I did and if not I hope you can forgive yourself for all the lying, desperate manipulative things you do to those around you and I hope they can forgive you, and me, for them too.
Time to go lock the accounts (again) - several accredited casinos allowed me to unlock despite emails to them confirming gambling addiction. I don't blame them for my addiction but their responsible care leaves a lot to be desired.
I'm sure I'll miss you all, and all this, but forgive me for saying I hope I don't see you soon except in the quit gambling forum which I would like to be restricted to thanks.
Time to read a book.
Gambling had consumed my life from 18-32 - my life has centered around it and suffered, I don't find joy in anything else except my wonderful partner who has had to put up with my idiocy for five years now.
I don't know why I feel this time is different, but when I woke up this morning instead of feeling desperation and dread I felt relief, that for some reason I didn't have to do this anymore. I know I have typed similar things to this before and believed them, I know the urge will return in spades and all the old excuses will crop up again, my brain crying out for stimulation.
But you know what I'm going to do? Not gamble.
I'll try and read a book but be too distracted so I'll end up just sitting in a chair or laying in bed.
Two or three months will pass, as they have before (once or twice) and I still won't feel better, I'll wonder if I ever will, maybe I won't. But I'll still pick up a book or half watch a movie. Anything but gambling, I can't stand to see those reels spinning anymore, it makes me sick.
I wish you all the best, especially those who, like me, are in denial about what gambling is doing to you, I hope you come to a realization long before I did and if not I hope you can forgive yourself for all the lying, desperate manipulative things you do to those around you and I hope they can forgive you, and me, for them too.
Time to go lock the accounts (again) - several accredited casinos allowed me to unlock despite emails to them confirming gambling addiction. I don't blame them for my addiction but their responsible care leaves a lot to be desired.
I'm sure I'll miss you all, and all this, but forgive me for saying I hope I don't see you soon except in the quit gambling forum which I would like to be restricted to thanks.
Time to read a book.