Ever felt like committing suicide?..

[Matthew23]

With gambling you are guaranteed to experience lows. The only option here is to quit 100%. Do not make even one more bet whether it's with free money or your own. You only need to make one bet to trigger that part of the brain that says 'MORE'.

About committing suicide - when I was a teenager I suffered very badly from OCD. It controlled every second of my life. My life was dominated by maths, colours and bizar pointless routines both mental and physical. An object sitting in the wrong place would make me feel ill. I remember thinking I was insane. Suicide definitely crossed my mind as I believed there was no other way out.

Anyway, here I am 10 years later and my life has completly changed. My OCD is 99% gone and I am a very happy person who enjoys life very much, infact I can't get enough!

It made me realize that no matter how depressed someone might feel, no matter what the problem is, things can turn around dramatically in such a short space of time. In your case I believe ture happiness can only begin once you quit gambling. Hopefully you'll find something you enjoy 10 times more than gambling and that doesn't contain 'lows'.

I really hope things work out for you and you get the help you need! I wish you all the best!!

[LOOKAWAY]

Brian, SlotMonster, guys - thank you. Sorry if my post was offensive or against forum rules or ethics. Truly, my only excuse is that I had no other place to go than this forum, no other people to turn to - everybody I know in 'real' offline world have no idea I am a gambler... May be in my case it is not so much about gambling but about self-destruction in general: everything I do, I do in excess. If i crave ice-cream, I'd buy 3 or 4 at a time

P.S. And yes, I am a 'she'

Blimey Fleur De Lis you do sound like me i am mr excess and in that i dont think your problem is gambling.

I was going to mention if you feel like biting the big one dont! rob a bank get high and go on a bender any thing is better than biting the big nothing.

But i fear that the excess problem would lead to a bonnie and clyde situation and alot off bank clerks seeing shrinks for life.

Not to mention your life sentance

Just look at it this way if you got left with nothing from a gambling problem something is everything and play that to the max.

My self i didnt realy have the right genetics to be mr excessive and i lasted to i was sixteen and three quaters now 28 and gambling is all i got left problay why you may see me refered or tagged as a illiterate retard alot

[lauram]

Hi sweetie how you feeling today. Remember today is dif day then yesterday and so on. One foot forward and yes sorry to say times 4 feet back and then again forward. Go with the punches duck when you can but rmbr we are here to chat if you need us. Im sure there are alot of us on here disgusted with ourself and so on so smile sweetie your not in members 1 only group.

[Jasminebed]

Well, just entered my fifitieth year (hate to say I am forty-nine) and I have had depression problems since my childhood. Gambling can be an addiction the same as many other vices. Following my mother's death in 1990 and a failed marriage I had not dealt with 1988, partly because my mom was dying by little bits & pieces, as a single parent my gambling did not make me feel good about myself. But there has always been somebody in my life that my death would hurt enough that I would not go there.

I was suicidial in my twenties, before gambling. But the escapism of gambling is seductive.

Now I save to gamble, and I am fighting for my life, and to be a really cool grandma.

Money or debts are not worth dying over. To have the strength to not hurt those who love you is important, even if you have to admit your flaws.

[bb28]

Jasmine.........your post was very touching and it's very brave of you to post such an honest response. My hat is off to you and I'm sure that someone besides me will read it and will be inspired by it.
Keep hanging in there!

[ballysdb]

I too understand chasing the thrills...

I do most things to excess, gamble, drink, eat, sleep.

I have been in therapy for a year now and it's been so very helpful. I tend to love chaos. If my life is chaotic I don't have to think about things. It's complicated but what I want to say is that just being "self aware" as my therapist says, has helped me 1000%!

For example I went on a date with a guy last week that I dated a year ago. Last year he would be all about me and then not call. My therapist said "why go into the same situations expecting different results?"

So guess what? We were supposed to go to a party today. He has not called. I am not upset in the least. I believe this is because of the hard work I am doing in therapy.

Sorrry to go on about me. I just wanted to make the point that sometimes just being still is hard for some people and yes, it's possible I have a mental illness. It's something I am willing to check into to see if I need meds.

Mental Illness is just that, an illness. Nothing to be ashamed of.

BTW...my sisters fiancee killed himself back in '94. He was mentally ill. The aftermath is not good.

God Bless...

[GaryWatson]

Gambling can affect your seratonin levels. The extreme highs and lows wear away at your natural defenses. It is a medical thing. It can often be helped by replacing the lost seratonin through medication. Often the loss of cash and the worry that brings with its compounds the situation. Exercise is a good way to naturally build back up your defenses and bring back that feel good factor. Maybe its a good time to replace one habit for another.

[happygobrokey]

...Maybe its a good time to replace one habit for another.

read:

[GaryWatson]

read:

erm, thats not what I meant but it does the trick lol
All kinds of physical activity with boost your seratonin levels, as long as your schedule is not too rigerous.

[kauphy]

o.k i have 3 things to say. one if you do kill urself and u get to the other side and u find that u hate it more then anything well now ur stuck and you can,t come back but u can,t change anything eather. at least here u can change things and the way u feel its all a state of mind. 2. i just had a baby 2 months ago the most perttest little thing u ever saw but he was borned with down sydome i went thought 2 weeks of living hell trying to deal with the guilt and pain of what i thought i had done to his life but never once did i think of leaving that way almost had a nervos brakedown but still never thought of doing that was told i should go on meds but not that type so i tied a knot at the end of my rope and talked to the people i love and people i did,nt even know until i found the will inside of myself to deal with how i felt and i talked to god alot alot lot and he listened and help wheather or not u belive in a higher power find something u can hold on to and then hold on with all ur might. 3. my brother was a drugie for almost all his life he has been clean now for 2 years with the help of alot of people he went thought open heart sug and has been in and out of the hospital and with all that has happened to him since he got clean, the hospital.devoice after 27 years lost almost everything u would think he would have fallen and went back to the drugs but no still clean and loving life when u almost lose something that u can never get back or say ur sorrie for then u learn to love urself for everything that u are ur falts and ur good points everything that makes u u and that sometimes means feeling like u can,t go on but take today as one little step and smile one little smile and u will find it will get easyer with each passing day we love u and will be parying for u