How to Avoid a Speeding Ticket

[BingoT]

How to Avoid a Speeding Ticket


Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too

[Westland Bowl]

Well, this didn't work for me. I guess that is because I'm a guy. I have to go to the Defensive Driving class today because I have.....so much demerit points on my driving record. The class is allllll daaaaay looooong! I'll have to speed home once I'm done in order to catch the NBA playoffs!

[BingoT]

Originally Posted by Westland Bowl

Well, this didn't work for me. I guess that is because I'm a guy. I have to go to the Defensive Driving class today because I have.....so much demerit points on my driving record. The class is allllll daaaaay looooong! I'll have to speed home once I'm done in order to catch the NBA playoffs!

Have Fun Today

[BingoT]

Ktbingo said lol

parking ticket
The Parking Ticket
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

[Westland Bowl]

Originally Posted by BingoT

Have Fun Today

Oh, thank you very much! We got off before noon actually! I didn't know an 8-hour class could go by so fast....like it was speeding!!!!