Misc. Stuff

[jinnia]

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow.

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golfball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golfball.

Q: What did one gay sperm say to another?
A: How do we find an egg in all of this shit?

Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. The hard part is getting them in the lightbulb.

Q: How do you find a blonde in long grass?
A: Pleasing!

Q: Which of the following doesn't belong:
wife, meat, eggs, blow job?
A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs,or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job.

Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS
and a pitbull ?
A. Lipstick.

Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women ?
A. When they come they're wild and wet,
but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job ?
A. After 5 years your job will still suck.

Q. What's the best thing about a blow job ?
A. Ten minutes of silence.

[Casinomeister]

Ha ha,

Looks like someone just bought a new joke book

[jinnia]

Actually I don't buy books, but I do a lot of surfing on the net ..

[jinnia]

What do you call a young girl who lives in Arkansas that can run faster than her brother?

A Virgin.

I bet I'll get this from some Arkansas people .. Oh well, I've got two of them

(Message edited by jinnia on June 27, 2003)

[jinnia]

A man had a weird illness. Whenever he broke wind, it made the sound "Honda". He asked his doctor about it but the doctor (after months of
tests and literature-reading) could not figure it out. Finally, just before he was about to give up, he had an idea! "I'll call the Honda Company in Japan and ask the company doctor!" Well, he called the Japanese doctor and was told by him to see if the patient had an abscess in his teeth somewhere. Sure enough, there was, and when it
was treated the other affliction ended! When the doctor asked his Japanese counterpart how he could make such a great diagnosis over the phone from such a long distance away the man replied:

"Simple. Abscess makes a fart go Honda."

[jinnia]

What's OJ Simpson's WWW address?

slash, slash, slash, slash, backslash, escape.

[jinnia]

A little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear," she asked.

The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the fucking walls if you came to visit us again."

[jinnia]

"Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle.

"I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life."

"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." Protested his nephew.

"I know," replied the uncle.

"That's exactly what I mean."

[jinnia]

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood." "We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us" The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood
somewhere." He flies out of the cave. When he returns, he is covered with blood. The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?" The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave.
Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"
"Yes," the other bat answers. "Well," says the first bat, "I didn't."

[jinnia]

A man walks into a supermarket and buys :

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner

The girl at the checkout looks at him and says "Single are you?"
The man replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?"
She replies "because you're an ugly bastard"