Ever Get In A Fight With An Inanimate Object? And Lose?
by, 30th November 2012 at 05:34 PM (5724 Views)
World English Dictionary:
1. lacking the qualities or features of living beings; not animate:inanimate objects
2. lacking any sign of life or consciousness; appearing dead
3. lacking vitality; spiritless; dull
Have you ever gotten into a fight with an inanimate object..... and LOST?
I did. And, not only once, but, three times is one fricking day!
1) Wednesday, I was in the shower. We have one of those shower heads that you can switch the flow to the hand held.
The hand held part works great for rinsing the hard to reach parts of your body. (As well as other things)
Anyway, I'm in the shower. The shower head is way too high for me to reach so, I use my back brush, which has a hole in the handle to reach up, loop the brush handle hole on the lever, and push the lever back. This is suppose to make the water flow from the hand held.
For some unknown-to-me reason, it takes TWO clicks on the lever to make the water transfer to the hand held. So, being relatively short, I reach up to click the lever (with the handle of my back brush)......... one click, no farther..... water coming slowly out of both shower heads. A setting that basically makes BOTH shower heads useless in my opinion. This is not good enough, so, I click it back to the regular shower head. Try again.
Again, the one click and it stops. Not only that, but the whole shower head is now moving back and forth as I try to click it. This went on for about eight attempts. I finally gave up. I had lost the battle.
2) I had survived the shower incident now on to make dinner. Along with the meat and gravy, I had decided on broccoli (frozen) and egg noodles(see next battle).
The broccoli, bought at Sams, comes in a large two pack. I had previously taken one bag out, so there was one left in the outer bag ( the outer bag being my enemy). There was, I thought, an adequate size hole in the outer bag to be able to get the inner bag out. I mean, I managed to get the first bag out before, right? Ha! In my mind, it shoud come right out.
Try as I did, I was obviously NOT smarter than the bag. So, after attempting this feat on my own (a few good pulls on the outer fortress) I ended up getting scissors and cutting that sucker out!
Battle 2 result: I kinda won, but, I had to use a weapon!
3) Egg Noodles
Lesson : Dry egg noodles do not like to be separated from one another.
Once I got the water boiling rapidly, I pulled the new bag open. I was even surprised the bag opened so smoothly and evenly. No jagged edges or tears down the side. (this happens often when you are not smart enough to use scissors(weapon of choice in prior battle) to open it evenly.
I wanted to use about half the bag and started pouring them in. The pot was on the back burner because the meat & gravy and the (victorious) broccoli were on the two front ones. The noodles, at that point, seemed to take a on life of their own and as I pulled the bag away, up and over the two front dishes, they continued to fall out. All over the place.
It was at this point, with dry noodles laying like a bed of grass covering the entire stove and all over the floor, that I realized the bag had split open the length of one side. I couldn't even try to sweep them all together back into the bag (which is now useless anyway) because they were lying ever so close or even in the hot burners of the other dishes.
Battle 3 result: I do feel a bit victorious........... because the noodles did suffer some casualties.
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