[BingoT]

The Purina Diet


When someone asks you a dumb question
wouldn"t you like to respond like
this?.... Yesterday I was buying a large bag of
Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart for Athena the wonder
dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me
asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant? So since I am retired with little to do,
on impulse, I told her that no, I did not have a
dog, and I was starting the Purina Diet again -
although I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I had lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs
in both arms.. I told her that it was essentially a
perfect diet and that the way it works is to load
your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat several every time you feel hungry and that the
food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try
it again. ( I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my
story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I
told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
setters ass and a car hit us both. I thought the
guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he
was laughing so hard!Wal-Mart will not let me shop
there anymore. Have a great day.