I'm kinda glad someone posted this thread. MrVan, the best thing you've done here in this situation is admit that it can be a problem..and no one should really be shunned for it (as long as they recognize it before they get in any deeper).
I have definitely been there, whether its online or at the B&Ms, state lottery, etc..you name it. It is a pretty bad feeling when you have to "beat the bank" to make sure your checks clear, or find yourself going back to the ATM time and again, and heck.. even counting change in the car to make sure you have the toll money to get back (happened to me, luckily, this tow truck driver stopped and said something (I think he could tell cuz I was down the street from the casino early in the morning parked at this 7-Eleven), gave me toll money and enough for a cup of coffee...he too, had been there.
That was quite awhile back and I'm making better money now in my job..but still..it gets outta control once in awhile where even if I didn't need the money for bills and had extra left over.. I could have spent it on so many other things that I definitely could say I had something to show for my money.
Its difficult to draw the line between recreation and what can become a compulsive hobby. I think at times when I "lost control" is primarily when I didn't have enough money for what I needed and saw this as the only way out..believe me, it never works (so to speak, turn a dollar into a hundred).. at least..not when YOU REALLY NEED IT and are acting in haste. And you end up in an even worse position.
I think the biggest loss at times is the time that can be taken up when gambling gets out of control. I am being frank here, because I think it helps even better to hear it from someone who has been there, so yes, I've made mistakes and just have to be sure to never forget them. I have missed beautiful weather days and times that I could have spent visiting friends and family, missed sleep, being late to work, and cramming things I've needed to do in a hurry and stressful rush because I've spent most of the weekend sitting in front of the computer, or even at the B&Ms..I've watched the sun go down and come back up again, and finally left when the sun was going down again..so tired that I was afraid I wouldn't make the drive home. I've seen shifts change at the convenience store playing Keno for hours. Yes, this is absolutely ridiculous. But one only knows what it's like when they are in that position.
I really do enjoy gambling, the thrill and excitement of it, and some of the things that accompany it.. but you really have to live and learn, and if you can find that appropriate balance then you truly are lucky. If not, the best thing to do is to stay away from it, and enjoy all of the other things in life.
I wish you all the best, MrVan..and any others that feel that they are in this same position. It is not too late.
